I wasn't going to share this with you all but then decided the story is very much the reason I began this blog called widow-world. So here goes. (And I didn't share this with my children or my sisters because quite honestly, I'm still "digesting" the situation. So if you're reading this, what can I say?)
Yes, I'm a widow. I know that and have spent the last 27 months adjusting to it. How do you know when you've adjusted? How do you know there won't be any additional "curve balls" headed your way? How do you know the steps to take and when to take them? It ain't easy being Queen...when you're alone.
Several weeks ago I was at a wonderful party. I love parties in my new hometown because I always meet new people. It takes me a few times of being with someone before I can remember their name, know where they live, and something about them. Well, at this particular party I was talking to a new person when in the middle of the conversation HE asked me if I wanted to go to dinner with him. I, Jo Ann Baker, speaker of way too many words, was speechless! I was so taken by surprise, words were not even in my brain let alone coming out of my mouth! After what seemed to me to be a very lengthy pause, HE asked if I was alright. I still couldn't speak! My brain was trying to wrap itself around this without much luck. What do I say? What do I do? I finally speak and tell HIM I'll need to think about it. What a dumb answer, but it was the best I could come up with.
Once home I was still trying to comprehend this situation. I thought, it's just dinner, it means nothing. Why is this so difficult for me? At that time I was still wearing my wedding ring so I thought maybe I should take it off. So I did. Do you have any idea how many times a day your thumb touches your wedding band? Two days later I put it back on. I was lost without it. (And by the way, some time back I mentioned how skinny my finger was after wearing that ring for nearly 40 years. I knew I should have put that band around my backside!!!!)
So here I am. I have not spoken to HIM since that night. Actually HE has not contacted me.(Wonder why?) And of course I have no idea what his name is and am too chicken to ask anyone who would know HIM! And what if I had his name and number? I still have no idea what I would say to him. Well, first I'd apologize.
So continues this widow-world! Suggestions anyone and be careful!!!!! Don't point out to me the obvious...I spend too much time worrying!
On a lighter note...I found a very simple recipe today in the October Southern Living magazine for...ready...Bacon Marmalade! I'm making it tomorrow. I used to bake bread (many years ago) and have decided to start that again.
And by the way...it's cold here, and I have already turned the furnace on!!!! Can you believe it? September 25! Oh my gosh!
Love you all!
