Thoughts to remember about this Christmas season...
HC Baker always had a Santa hat. I don't really remember him wearing it but it was always in our holiday decorations. Since I still haven't found some of our "stuff", I bought a new one this year. Don't know why but I did. I put it in one of the sideboard drawers and forgot about it. I did ask TR Baker if he wanted to wear it and his answer was no. I ended up hanging it on a brass hook on the inside of the powder room door. It just looked like it belonged there. Granddaughter Grace (9 years old) came by for a short visit on Christmas Eve and saw it. She came running to me asking what Santa's hat was doing in the bathroom. For once my brain worked quickly and I told her Santa had been here asking me about her behavior in the past year and he went to the bathroom before he left and forgot his hat. I assured her he had others he could wear and I would just keep it for him until he came again next year. She seemed satisfied with that explanation but did ask me what I told him. I said I told him she was a very well behaved young lady but sometimes did argue with her brother. She quickly assured me she was working hard to be a better sister.
*My thought about this...isn't it wonderful she still believes in Santa? What a sweet heart she has.
Christmas Day at Emily's was a brand new experience for TR and me. They work so hard at this time of year. They closed the candy store at 3pm on Christmas Eve and came home to R E S T! TR and I arrived at their home Christmas morning at 10:30 for breakfast. Emily prepared the exact same breakfast we always had every Christmas morning for all their lives. Sausage casserole, hash brown casserole, iced sweet rolls, and fresh fruit. She did add "piggies" to the menu because her family loves them. All of it was delicious. Her dad would have been proud! I was just sorry Libby, Daniel, Hannah, Isaac, and Adam couldn't be with us.
*My thought about this...no matter what's going on in my life, my family is a blessing to me.
Monday evening we all went to the movie theatre in Cheboygan. Emily, Brett, Garrett and TR saw the new Sherlock Holmes film and Grace and I saw We Bought a Zoo! It was wonderful and I highly recommend it. Tuesday evening Emily, Brett and Garrett returned to the theatre (TR had to work) to see the new Mission Impossible film. Grace came over to my house to play! We actually watched the movie E.T. as Grace had never seen it. It's one of my favorites. We had popcorn, bottled waters and turned the lights down low. Another great movie night! By the way, the others really enjoyed the Holmes and Mission Imp. movies too.
Footnote here: When Brett came into the house to collect Grace, she took him to the powder room and showed him Santa's hat that he had left behind.
*My thought about this...if you remember, HC Baker hated going to the movies. I think the movies are a wonderful way to spend a family evening no matter where you watch them!
In closing tonight, I want to say I had a wonderful Christmas with my family. We all love each other, look out for each other, hope the best for each other and pray for each other. Let me also say much is written about people in the world who experience great sadness during the holidays. In some ways I'm one of those people because I'm still adjusting to HC's death. On family focused holidays, the loss of a loved one is hard on everyone. This year I especially remembered the military families who lost their loved ones as they fought for our freedoms. I challenge you and encourage you to add all our military personnel to your prayers in 2012. The greatest gift to all of us was the birth of the tiny baby who grew to manhood and gave His life for all of us. The next best gift is that soldier who gave his life so that all of us are able to enjoy our many freedoms.
2012 is almost here. What commitments are you prepared to offer in the new year to make the world a better place. God Bless You.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Christmas Eve 2011
I've worried about this night for months. It's the second Christmas without HCB. I knew I wanted to do something very new to me so here it is.
Just a few steps from me is the Topinabee Community Church and I was told they have a Christmas Eve service at 7pm. I had met a few people who attend there and they told me it was a candlelight service, just what I wanted. I went. Up here in northern Michigan the churches are very small. This sanctuary held maybe 125 people packed. Tonight there were 67 people (I counted). That includes the choir (4 women/4 men), the organist who was also the pianist, and the pastor.
The service began with Christmas greetings followed by the first carol, O Little Town of Bethlehem. What followed was the singing of many carols interspersed with the reading of the Christmas story. And I must tell you the reader was a man who's voice brought tears to my eyes because I thought it was Jack Fox. Imagine that! I spoke to him later and he's a retired school teacher and he also announced the football and basketball games during his teaching years.
One of the solos I had never heard before touched everyone's heart as we couldn't help but remember all the soldiers in war torn areas of our world today. It's called Christmas in the Trenches and was written about World War I.
Many carols followed, all my favorites, and the pastor's message was about Joseph and his thoughts during Mary's pregnancy, delivery, and the first few days after Jesus' birth. The service ended with the lighting of everyone's candle and the singing of Silent Night. Perfect!
As I walked home in the snow and cold, my heart was filled with the true spirit of the season, the birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ.
The wonders of His love. May the love and joy that fill your heart tonight remain with you throughout the year. Merry Christmas to each of you.
Just a few steps from me is the Topinabee Community Church and I was told they have a Christmas Eve service at 7pm. I had met a few people who attend there and they told me it was a candlelight service, just what I wanted. I went. Up here in northern Michigan the churches are very small. This sanctuary held maybe 125 people packed. Tonight there were 67 people (I counted). That includes the choir (4 women/4 men), the organist who was also the pianist, and the pastor.
The service began with Christmas greetings followed by the first carol, O Little Town of Bethlehem. What followed was the singing of many carols interspersed with the reading of the Christmas story. And I must tell you the reader was a man who's voice brought tears to my eyes because I thought it was Jack Fox. Imagine that! I spoke to him later and he's a retired school teacher and he also announced the football and basketball games during his teaching years.
One of the solos I had never heard before touched everyone's heart as we couldn't help but remember all the soldiers in war torn areas of our world today. It's called Christmas in the Trenches and was written about World War I.
Many carols followed, all my favorites, and the pastor's message was about Joseph and his thoughts during Mary's pregnancy, delivery, and the first few days after Jesus' birth. The service ended with the lighting of everyone's candle and the singing of Silent Night. Perfect!
As I walked home in the snow and cold, my heart was filled with the true spirit of the season, the birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ.
The wonders of His love. May the love and joy that fill your heart tonight remain with you throughout the year. Merry Christmas to each of you.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
I'll get back to HC Baker's India trip later...
What a day! It was almost 4 o'clock before the countertop people got here. But...it looks fabulous!!!!
Back to that in a minute.
Spent the morning and early afternoon putting stuff away. FYI...I still have 20+ boxes full of stuff from Louisville storage and the Witt cottage. Why do we do this? And if it's in a box and has been for some time what could it be and why do we need it? But then I found some old sterling pieces from way back that I love. AND...drum roll please...I found my dining room table pads! They were on the front porch buried under an old bedspread being used to cover spring stuff. Am so excited. Did not want to have to replace them.
Because TR Baker leaves for his work around 5pm I always try to have something prepared for him to eat before he goes. Today's menu was turkey breast and home made mac & cheese!!!!! YUM! Also wanted to get it ready before the countertop guys arrived (thinking it would be around 2pm - NOT!).
Next, I wrapped all the "local" Christmas presents. (Sent the out of town ones last week.) In past years due to work and other obligations, I have always been the person wrapping on Christmas Eve . Last year and this year since I have retired, wrapping is fun. And I think we should give a Nobel prize to the person who invented gift bags!!!! Love that person. And now you can buy them with the tissue paper already with it!!! Too cool!
The counter guys have arrived. My contractor is here too. I think he's avoiding me because I ask too many questions. Where's this? Where's that? When will it be here? I've decided not to take any more workers in until after Jan 1. And tomorrow these 2 fabulous women I met are coming to clean the house!!! Can't wait!
I had worked hard so I decided I'd sit down for a while and see what was happening on TV. Found the movie I Remember Mama and watched it from beginning to end. Irene Dunn, Barbara Bell Geddes when she was probably 16, Rudy Vallee, and lots more. Black and white and wonderful! It was on for 2 1/2 hours! EEK! Got to get up and do something else.
You might be wondering where I'm sitting, what room and on what????? (Aren't ya'?) I've been in every room in the house working around the re-model. Tonight I'm in my kitchen sitting at the peninsula working on top of my new countertop with my rear end on a brand new stool. I bought 4 of them the other day and when I went to customer pick-up to have them loaded, they put 2 medium sized boxes in the back end of my car. Oh my! I asked the young man if they didn't sell them already put together. He said not to worry. They're easy to put together. I just looked at him. This didn't feel like something I was interested in doing or would be able to do. So tonight after the movie, I said what the hell! Let's open the boxes and see what it looks like. 2 stools per box each in 6 pieces with instruction sheet, 8 screws and an allen wrench. (The only reason I know it was an allen wrench is it said so on the instruction sheet.) And I have 8 screws but the instruction sheet only shows me using 4 of them. I asked myself (I do that a lot) how difficult could this be? I'm a reasonably intelligent person. I can read and count and look at pictures. Let's do it! I started at 8:05 and at 9:14, I had all 4 put together! Hooray for me! I don't think I have ever done anything like that before. And they look like they're supposed to. I am sitting on one right now and it hasn't fallen apart! When TR Baker gets home he will ask me who came over and put these together. ME!!!!
NOTE: I did photograph this event but cannot find my digital camera so I found a disposal one that I'll have to get developed onto a disk. I want all of you to see what I did! OK enough boasting!
Have been listening to Christmas carols all day and they are the background music for tonight's writing. Don't you feel good when you know the words? And you know them because you have spent the "good" part of your life hearing them. Good for you! God is good!
Back to that in a minute.
Spent the morning and early afternoon putting stuff away. FYI...I still have 20+ boxes full of stuff from Louisville storage and the Witt cottage. Why do we do this? And if it's in a box and has been for some time what could it be and why do we need it? But then I found some old sterling pieces from way back that I love. AND...drum roll please...I found my dining room table pads! They were on the front porch buried under an old bedspread being used to cover spring stuff. Am so excited. Did not want to have to replace them.
Because TR Baker leaves for his work around 5pm I always try to have something prepared for him to eat before he goes. Today's menu was turkey breast and home made mac & cheese!!!!! YUM! Also wanted to get it ready before the countertop guys arrived (thinking it would be around 2pm - NOT!).
Next, I wrapped all the "local" Christmas presents. (Sent the out of town ones last week.) In past years due to work and other obligations, I have always been the person wrapping on Christmas Eve . Last year and this year since I have retired, wrapping is fun. And I think we should give a Nobel prize to the person who invented gift bags!!!! Love that person. And now you can buy them with the tissue paper already with it!!! Too cool!
The counter guys have arrived. My contractor is here too. I think he's avoiding me because I ask too many questions. Where's this? Where's that? When will it be here? I've decided not to take any more workers in until after Jan 1. And tomorrow these 2 fabulous women I met are coming to clean the house!!! Can't wait!
I had worked hard so I decided I'd sit down for a while and see what was happening on TV. Found the movie I Remember Mama and watched it from beginning to end. Irene Dunn, Barbara Bell Geddes when she was probably 16, Rudy Vallee, and lots more. Black and white and wonderful! It was on for 2 1/2 hours! EEK! Got to get up and do something else.
You might be wondering where I'm sitting, what room and on what????? (Aren't ya'?) I've been in every room in the house working around the re-model. Tonight I'm in my kitchen sitting at the peninsula working on top of my new countertop with my rear end on a brand new stool. I bought 4 of them the other day and when I went to customer pick-up to have them loaded, they put 2 medium sized boxes in the back end of my car. Oh my! I asked the young man if they didn't sell them already put together. He said not to worry. They're easy to put together. I just looked at him. This didn't feel like something I was interested in doing or would be able to do. So tonight after the movie, I said what the hell! Let's open the boxes and see what it looks like. 2 stools per box each in 6 pieces with instruction sheet, 8 screws and an allen wrench. (The only reason I know it was an allen wrench is it said so on the instruction sheet.) And I have 8 screws but the instruction sheet only shows me using 4 of them. I asked myself (I do that a lot) how difficult could this be? I'm a reasonably intelligent person. I can read and count and look at pictures. Let's do it! I started at 8:05 and at 9:14, I had all 4 put together! Hooray for me! I don't think I have ever done anything like that before. And they look like they're supposed to. I am sitting on one right now and it hasn't fallen apart! When TR Baker gets home he will ask me who came over and put these together. ME!!!!
NOTE: I did photograph this event but cannot find my digital camera so I found a disposal one that I'll have to get developed onto a disk. I want all of you to see what I did! OK enough boasting!
Have been listening to Christmas carols all day and they are the background music for tonight's writing. Don't you feel good when you know the words? And you know them because you have spent the "good" part of your life hearing them. Good for you! God is good!
Monday, December 19, 2011
Preparing for India cont.
9-2-05 10:30p Sunny
Went to flea market today with Jo Ann - Robin and TR. Not so great - We don't know why we still go. Went to Cracker Barrel for lunch and had a good time.
Got home - thought we would rest a bit - but Mary called and we went to Wayside to help Linda with a kids movie night. Had a good time - took a large bag of clothes for the people coming up from the storm.
Sent a note to Hilton -
Jo Ann and I stopped @ Dizzy Whiz for a burger - it was good food & good time.
9-3-05 8:15p Sunny
After church they (Les) had a commissioning for those going to Mississippi. We had the red & blue picnic - lots of people - lots of food (potluck) - a good time. Allen and Dora gave me money for the trip. Bless them!
Went to my favorite cousin's for a shower for Brooke. She's a doll and a sweet young lady! I have always liked her. Good time - good food - good to see some folks I had not seen for some time.
Trying to focus on getting ready for India and Mississippi and bills & work & yard & everything before I go - it will work!
9-5-05 Monday 6:10pm Sunny
I'm sure nobody will notice but I missed a day somewhere! Today is a holiday - as usual worked more today than normal. Cleaning - packing - calling - planning - shopping - got lots done - Sent TY notes to DHF, A&DK, S&SW for $ to India. We've got at least eleven people going to Mississippi - good friends! And all seems well right now.
9-6-05 at least 12:01 Sunny
A very long day at work - getting ready for trip tomorrow. At least 75 phone calls - maybe more - dinner tonight with JA TR & Robin - had a good time. Adam wants a pocket knife - sent Hilton an e-mail.
9-7-05 11:52p which is 12:52 in L Sunny
Dam! We left @ 8:00am on time but I do not know where the time went - well I know - We went to Selma AL to drop off two trailers. That's no big deal - but.....
Well the drive was OK but 8am - 11:30pm way way too much. We did eat at an interesting place in Selma - The Steak Pit! Cheap and OK steak potato salad! Not bad - Well the lights are out - 5 hours to sleep! Dear God please help me -
9-16-05 11:30p Cloudy & rain
Well - My intentions were good but something was weak! Wanted to write every day but the trip to Mississippi was more than I could keep up with. It was a great trip - looking back. but different and hard in ways I want to forget. Eleven souls made the trip - Patty H, Bobbie W, Jim Leeper - J. Cahoe, Steve Penn, Brian Mize, Rick, Mike M, Dong Yon (Billy Bob) Jac Jones and me.
Too long down. It was great to see friends from Florida & Alabama and meet new friends. The place was nice but too far from folks that needed us.
Still trying to get ready for India. Lunch with Jacob today - and read Mary Ellen's e-mail from India 2000. Jacob was helpful and a new friend. The e-mails had me laughing and crying reminding me of the great times I've had with christians on mission trips - all over. Well - only missed a few days in the scope of a lifetime - guess I won't be too discouraged - keep on trying.
9-28-05 6:20pm Sunny
Well the day before I leave for India is here - I'm as ready as I guess I can be - or I'm going to be. The wedding for Julie and Jeremy was great. I was as wet with sweat as I could be - it was outside @ Whitehall and it was 90 and I wore a robe. Overall they seemed to enjoy the whole thing so I guess it was OK!
(Julie was the server at Clifton Pizza and she and HC became fast friends. She asked HC Baker if he would perform the marriage ceremony at her wedding. He did wearing Les' black robe with Dr. Cromer as the "official" minister.)
The grandkids (less Dan) came over for dinner last night. Robin and TR came over - I had a good time. They have (T&R) moved into their new home. A very nice little place.
I don't know what to think about the trip - I'm not thinking anything yet - I'll let you know.
Jack took me to lunch @ a Bosnian place on Bardstown Road. Those Bosnians don't do much for the cooking world - but the time together was good - Jack is one hellava friend to me. Dave and Kevin and Jan and Vicki and others have called to say good bye. Friends like mine are nice to have around!
As I write these words from HC's journal I am reminded of how excited he was to go to India. The best airfare we found was departing from and returning to Cincinnati. The drive up was interesting in that HC was very quiet (and we all know that wasn't his "norm"). Even though he had been on quite a few mission trips and disaster relief trips, this trip was taking him so far away from "home". When we arrived at the airport, we had plenty of time before he had to check in so we had a late lunch in the airport and were able to find a quiet place and talk. His fear was that he wouldn't be able to help these people. They had lost everything and they didn't have that much to begin with. What would he do? We talked and talked and prayed and prayed. Finally it was time for him to head to the gate. With a very heavy heart I let him go. I knew that God was watching over him...plus I had my fingers crossed!
Went to flea market today with Jo Ann - Robin and TR. Not so great - We don't know why we still go. Went to Cracker Barrel for lunch and had a good time.
Got home - thought we would rest a bit - but Mary called and we went to Wayside to help Linda with a kids movie night. Had a good time - took a large bag of clothes for the people coming up from the storm.
Sent a note to Hilton -
Jo Ann and I stopped @ Dizzy Whiz for a burger - it was good food & good time.
9-3-05 8:15p Sunny
After church they (Les) had a commissioning for those going to Mississippi. We had the red & blue picnic - lots of people - lots of food (potluck) - a good time. Allen and Dora gave me money for the trip. Bless them!
Went to my favorite cousin's for a shower for Brooke. She's a doll and a sweet young lady! I have always liked her. Good time - good food - good to see some folks I had not seen for some time.
Trying to focus on getting ready for India and Mississippi and bills & work & yard & everything before I go - it will work!
9-5-05 Monday 6:10pm Sunny
I'm sure nobody will notice but I missed a day somewhere! Today is a holiday - as usual worked more today than normal. Cleaning - packing - calling - planning - shopping - got lots done - Sent TY notes to DHF, A&DK, S&SW for $ to India. We've got at least eleven people going to Mississippi - good friends! And all seems well right now.
9-6-05 at least 12:01 Sunny
A very long day at work - getting ready for trip tomorrow. At least 75 phone calls - maybe more - dinner tonight with JA TR & Robin - had a good time. Adam wants a pocket knife - sent Hilton an e-mail.
9-7-05 11:52p which is 12:52 in L Sunny
Dam! We left @ 8:00am on time but I do not know where the time went - well I know - We went to Selma AL to drop off two trailers. That's no big deal - but.....
Well the drive was OK but 8am - 11:30pm way way too much. We did eat at an interesting place in Selma - The Steak Pit! Cheap and OK steak potato salad! Not bad - Well the lights are out - 5 hours to sleep! Dear God please help me -
9-16-05 11:30p Cloudy & rain
Well - My intentions were good but something was weak! Wanted to write every day but the trip to Mississippi was more than I could keep up with. It was a great trip - looking back. but different and hard in ways I want to forget. Eleven souls made the trip - Patty H, Bobbie W, Jim Leeper - J. Cahoe, Steve Penn, Brian Mize, Rick, Mike M, Dong Yon (Billy Bob) Jac Jones and me.
Too long down. It was great to see friends from Florida & Alabama and meet new friends. The place was nice but too far from folks that needed us.
Still trying to get ready for India. Lunch with Jacob today - and read Mary Ellen's e-mail from India 2000. Jacob was helpful and a new friend. The e-mails had me laughing and crying reminding me of the great times I've had with christians on mission trips - all over. Well - only missed a few days in the scope of a lifetime - guess I won't be too discouraged - keep on trying.
9-28-05 6:20pm Sunny
Well the day before I leave for India is here - I'm as ready as I guess I can be - or I'm going to be. The wedding for Julie and Jeremy was great. I was as wet with sweat as I could be - it was outside @ Whitehall and it was 90 and I wore a robe. Overall they seemed to enjoy the whole thing so I guess it was OK!
(Julie was the server at Clifton Pizza and she and HC became fast friends. She asked HC Baker if he would perform the marriage ceremony at her wedding. He did wearing Les' black robe with Dr. Cromer as the "official" minister.)
The grandkids (less Dan) came over for dinner last night. Robin and TR came over - I had a good time. They have (T&R) moved into their new home. A very nice little place.
I don't know what to think about the trip - I'm not thinking anything yet - I'll let you know.
Jack took me to lunch @ a Bosnian place on Bardstown Road. Those Bosnians don't do much for the cooking world - but the time together was good - Jack is one hellava friend to me. Dave and Kevin and Jan and Vicki and others have called to say good bye. Friends like mine are nice to have around!
As I write these words from HC's journal I am reminded of how excited he was to go to India. The best airfare we found was departing from and returning to Cincinnati. The drive up was interesting in that HC was very quiet (and we all know that wasn't his "norm"). Even though he had been on quite a few mission trips and disaster relief trips, this trip was taking him so far away from "home". When we arrived at the airport, we had plenty of time before he had to check in so we had a late lunch in the airport and were able to find a quiet place and talk. His fear was that he wouldn't be able to help these people. They had lost everything and they didn't have that much to begin with. What would he do? We talked and talked and prayed and prayed. Finally it was time for him to head to the gate. With a very heavy heart I let him go. I knew that God was watching over him...plus I had my fingers crossed!
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Preparations for India Trip
January 9, 2005 - HC Baker's birthday
In one of those wonderful Bardstown Road shops I found a journal with a cover and pages "made in India". Since HC Baker was planning an October trip to India with Habitat for Humanity for a re-build, I thought it was the perfect choice to record those experiences. Like many gifts HC received, he was very appreciative and I never saw the book again...until after he died. His writing begins August 29, 2005, and ends with his boarding the plane to return to Louisville after his time in India. I am copying his words from those pages. (I'll try and not offend anyone, but remember, you are reading his journal.)
8-29-05 10:45p Rain Flood Warning
This was supposed to be the "30 day Preface" before my India trip. It still is but Katrina hit and now it looks like a trip to Alabama or somewhere south before India. Accomplished today - HFH applications - doctors appt - visa stuff - and fund raising. I'm setting up the handbook and other info about India. A very busy day - work from home. Hospital visit to Shardine and Lisa Short. MBS - work again - some cooking for tomorrow with the kids. Will see how long I can keep this up.
8-30-05 10:30p Rain
Day two of the book - Katrina is much worse than anybody could imagine. Will be going where needed with 10-12 of my Saintly Friends who just can't wait to help. You watch the "looters" on TV and wonder about Mankind - but then you look at all the people who try and help - I'm impressed.
India was the reason for the book but - prepare me and my head - looks like I'll get some help by cooking.
Two calls from friends celebrating answered prayer - praise the Lord! The grand kids, Dave & Joyce, and Jo Ann had turkey tonight. The kids are growing and maturing. Very proud of them! Going to cook for painters @ Hilton's tomorrow - Continuing to pray for one of the good guys. Still working on paperwork - almost done.
8-31-05 11:15p Sunny
Hey what can I say - It's late - I just got home from church - I'm tired - not a great day. Lots of people have offered to go with me to Mississippi. That's good - Katrina is BAD - Still working on apps for India. The painting for Hilton was great - 6 guys from church there to help. That's good - Thank you God.
9-1-05 11:30pm Sunny
Late - tired - spent 2 1/2 hours with David G. His wife Linda passed away last week - He has no family home - Nice guy - just hurting a lot - He just needed to talk. I just pray it helped a little.
Lunch at Clifton was great! Shared about Julie's upcoming wedding and the trip to Mississippi - overflow crowd.
I worked on HFH health policy - what a joke. I cannot believe the hassle. But we prevailed - I think Mary got a great price. Also went to BGB to see Tim Kreckle. Steve and another Steve he works with went - Steve gave me a donation!! I dearly appreciate that and the thought.
Will continue tomorrow...JB
In one of those wonderful Bardstown Road shops I found a journal with a cover and pages "made in India". Since HC Baker was planning an October trip to India with Habitat for Humanity for a re-build, I thought it was the perfect choice to record those experiences. Like many gifts HC received, he was very appreciative and I never saw the book again...until after he died. His writing begins August 29, 2005, and ends with his boarding the plane to return to Louisville after his time in India. I am copying his words from those pages. (I'll try and not offend anyone, but remember, you are reading his journal.)
8-29-05 10:45p Rain Flood Warning
This was supposed to be the "30 day Preface" before my India trip. It still is but Katrina hit and now it looks like a trip to Alabama or somewhere south before India. Accomplished today - HFH applications - doctors appt - visa stuff - and fund raising. I'm setting up the handbook and other info about India. A very busy day - work from home. Hospital visit to Shardine and Lisa Short. MBS - work again - some cooking for tomorrow with the kids. Will see how long I can keep this up.
8-30-05 10:30p Rain
Day two of the book - Katrina is much worse than anybody could imagine. Will be going where needed with 10-12 of my Saintly Friends who just can't wait to help. You watch the "looters" on TV and wonder about Mankind - but then you look at all the people who try and help - I'm impressed.
India was the reason for the book but - prepare me and my head - looks like I'll get some help by cooking.
Two calls from friends celebrating answered prayer - praise the Lord! The grand kids, Dave & Joyce, and Jo Ann had turkey tonight. The kids are growing and maturing. Very proud of them! Going to cook for painters @ Hilton's tomorrow - Continuing to pray for one of the good guys. Still working on paperwork - almost done.
8-31-05 11:15p Sunny
Hey what can I say - It's late - I just got home from church - I'm tired - not a great day. Lots of people have offered to go with me to Mississippi. That's good - Katrina is BAD - Still working on apps for India. The painting for Hilton was great - 6 guys from church there to help. That's good - Thank you God.
9-1-05 11:30pm Sunny
Late - tired - spent 2 1/2 hours with David G. His wife Linda passed away last week - He has no family home - Nice guy - just hurting a lot - He just needed to talk. I just pray it helped a little.
Lunch at Clifton was great! Shared about Julie's upcoming wedding and the trip to Mississippi - overflow crowd.
I worked on HFH health policy - what a joke. I cannot believe the hassle. But we prevailed - I think Mary got a great price. Also went to BGB to see Tim Kreckle. Steve and another Steve he works with went - Steve gave me a donation!! I dearly appreciate that and the thought.
Will continue tomorrow...JB
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Pillows!
For all the years I was married to HC Baker, the only pillows we had were the ones you put your head on when you went to bed. Now there was a reason for that. HC Baker had no respect for any other kind of pillow. I tried early on in our marriage to decorate with a pillow or two here and there but they never lasted. HC thought every pillow was a pillow for his head! I would get so angry and explain to him these special pillows are for "pretty"!!!! He always said he thought they were pretty and would immediately fold it in half and put it under his neck. I quit buying pillows.
Well, guess what? Since he died I have filled every piece of furniture with pillows. I love pillows and there are some beautiful ones out there. I needed a good dose of shopping today so I drove to Gaylord. It's about 40 minutes south of me. There's a quaint downtown with a few specialty shops and 2 antique malls (small compared to any in Louisville), an adorable shop called Gallery 3 owned by 3 young women who re-purpose your furniture (everything's wonderful), and out in the "burbs", there's a TJ Max!!!!!! (They also have WalMart, Lowe's, the orange box store I hate, Kohl's, Hobby Lobby, Meijers (sp?), Big Lots (always a hoot!), and they even have a GFS!!!) Anyway, I went to TJ Max because I love their home stuff, and I came home with 3 new pillows. (plus 3 Christmas presents for ME!!!!!)
My favorite of the new pillows is a Christmas pillow, rectangle in shape, background in light blue, fringed on the long ends, lots of buttons and beads, and in letters across the front is says B E L I E V E. I loved the way it looked but most important, I loved the way it made me feel. It's at Christmastime when the word believe appears a lot. The other night I watched The Polar Express and "believe" was at the heart of the movie. But that's not the "believe" I think about at Christmastime. When we believe that the Savior of the world was born in that stable, our lives are blessed forever. But take a moment and think about the others who were blessed when they believed - Mary, Joseph (he had some big believin' to do!), Elizabeth, Zechariah, the shepherds, the kings, and on and on. A quick check on the internet revealed that in the New Testament of the King James version, the word believe is used 124 times. If there was a contest to see who could quote a bible verse the quickest with the word believe in it how fast could you do it? What is one of the first bible verses we memorized? It's a Christmas verse, it's an Easter verse, it's an every day verse. John 3:16 - Pray it now.
Well, guess what? Since he died I have filled every piece of furniture with pillows. I love pillows and there are some beautiful ones out there. I needed a good dose of shopping today so I drove to Gaylord. It's about 40 minutes south of me. There's a quaint downtown with a few specialty shops and 2 antique malls (small compared to any in Louisville), an adorable shop called Gallery 3 owned by 3 young women who re-purpose your furniture (everything's wonderful), and out in the "burbs", there's a TJ Max!!!!!! (They also have WalMart, Lowe's, the orange box store I hate, Kohl's, Hobby Lobby, Meijers (sp?), Big Lots (always a hoot!), and they even have a GFS!!!) Anyway, I went to TJ Max because I love their home stuff, and I came home with 3 new pillows. (plus 3 Christmas presents for ME!!!!!)
My favorite of the new pillows is a Christmas pillow, rectangle in shape, background in light blue, fringed on the long ends, lots of buttons and beads, and in letters across the front is says B E L I E V E. I loved the way it looked but most important, I loved the way it made me feel. It's at Christmastime when the word believe appears a lot. The other night I watched The Polar Express and "believe" was at the heart of the movie. But that's not the "believe" I think about at Christmastime. When we believe that the Savior of the world was born in that stable, our lives are blessed forever. But take a moment and think about the others who were blessed when they believed - Mary, Joseph (he had some big believin' to do!), Elizabeth, Zechariah, the shepherds, the kings, and on and on. A quick check on the internet revealed that in the New Testament of the King James version, the word believe is used 124 times. If there was a contest to see who could quote a bible verse the quickest with the word believe in it how fast could you do it? What is one of the first bible verses we memorized? It's a Christmas verse, it's an Easter verse, it's an every day verse. John 3:16 - Pray it now.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Problems!!!
Oh my goodness!
Spent a crazy weekend wondering what to do about my beautiful new kitchen floor. It's not looking the way it's supposed to and the floor guys have returned 3 times for a "fix". Hasn't worked so far. So this morning they came, ripped and re-installed using a different technique. Hope it works this time. It's covered now and will be "revealed" tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed.
All that beautiful snow we received is completely gone. Yesterday the temperature was in the upper 40's and today it rained. All gone!!!!
The candy store is in high gear! This is the peak season for them and Brett is making candy as fast as possible and Emily is making gift baskets at that same speed. They will close hopefully by 4pm Christmas Eve, go home and collapse.
With all this going on it's still important to focus on the celebration of the birth of the tiny baby who grew "in wisdom and stature" and gave his life for each of us. I have found myself remembering past Christmases and the love within our hearts we shared with each other. My new home is across the street from Topinabee Community Church. I have met several members and asked them about what happens there. It is non-demoninational (what does that really mean?) and of course it's very small. BUT...Christmas Eve at 7pm is the candlelight community service. I will be there with an open heart and excited expectations.
The candlelight Christmas Eve service at St. Matthews Baptist Church was always a part of our family's Christmas experience and especially emotional for the past several years. I remember the last service Mike McCormick was to be with us. HC and I stood next to Mike and Carla and as beautiful as the service was, we knew it would be Mike's last. In 2008, HC had put one infection behind him and we thought we were home free. 2009 was an especially happy time because HC had survived 2 open heart surgeries and a month at the Mayo Clinic. Then in 2010 he was gone. Last year my entire family joined me at St. Matthews because it was the first Christmas Eve without HC Baker. I am amazed at what can happen in such a short period of time. You know the "life is short" saying? It is.
Because life is short, each of us needs to take full advantage of every moment. Say a prayer for each person who is special to you. They might not be where you want them to be but pray that the love of a tiny baby is in their hearts. Pray that they will take that love and share it with others. We all need prayers and we all want love. If you are reading this, I know you are blessed. Pass it on.
Spent a crazy weekend wondering what to do about my beautiful new kitchen floor. It's not looking the way it's supposed to and the floor guys have returned 3 times for a "fix". Hasn't worked so far. So this morning they came, ripped and re-installed using a different technique. Hope it works this time. It's covered now and will be "revealed" tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed.
All that beautiful snow we received is completely gone. Yesterday the temperature was in the upper 40's and today it rained. All gone!!!!
The candy store is in high gear! This is the peak season for them and Brett is making candy as fast as possible and Emily is making gift baskets at that same speed. They will close hopefully by 4pm Christmas Eve, go home and collapse.
With all this going on it's still important to focus on the celebration of the birth of the tiny baby who grew "in wisdom and stature" and gave his life for each of us. I have found myself remembering past Christmases and the love within our hearts we shared with each other. My new home is across the street from Topinabee Community Church. I have met several members and asked them about what happens there. It is non-demoninational (what does that really mean?) and of course it's very small. BUT...Christmas Eve at 7pm is the candlelight community service. I will be there with an open heart and excited expectations.
The candlelight Christmas Eve service at St. Matthews Baptist Church was always a part of our family's Christmas experience and especially emotional for the past several years. I remember the last service Mike McCormick was to be with us. HC and I stood next to Mike and Carla and as beautiful as the service was, we knew it would be Mike's last. In 2008, HC had put one infection behind him and we thought we were home free. 2009 was an especially happy time because HC had survived 2 open heart surgeries and a month at the Mayo Clinic. Then in 2010 he was gone. Last year my entire family joined me at St. Matthews because it was the first Christmas Eve without HC Baker. I am amazed at what can happen in such a short period of time. You know the "life is short" saying? It is.
Because life is short, each of us needs to take full advantage of every moment. Say a prayer for each person who is special to you. They might not be where you want them to be but pray that the love of a tiny baby is in their hearts. Pray that they will take that love and share it with others. We all need prayers and we all want love. If you are reading this, I know you are blessed. Pass it on.
Friday, December 9, 2011
First Snow Day!
It snowed last night and continued throughout the day. Once again the wind was so strong, the snow blew all over. There's several inches on the ground now with more to come all weekend. The wonderful thing is I don't have to go out anywhere. I have plenty of peach tea, hot chocolate, marshmallows, home made soup and the ever popular peanut butter oreos (got a new bag yesterday!). It looks beautiful outside and the moon just came up and is creating a winter glow. The lake is beginning to freeze and then the skiers and snowmobilers will arrive. Winter fun!
What a day with the re-modelers! The snow is beautiful but not so when it's tracked in over and over and over again. I had 3 groups of workers today and I mopped between each arrival. My kitchen floor is a large black and white diamond pattern and is dynamite when it's clean. (What was I thinking?????) I love it anyway!
The great news is the downstairs powder room off the kitchen is COMPLETE!!!!!! I have cleaned it top to bottom and there's just not a cooler looking 1/2 bath in the world! Black, white and silver with red accessories. Toilet seat and vanity mat are zebra print.
The pantry is also complete. I tried to do it myself but ran into a problem that required more knowledge than I had. One of the carpenters found the studs and mounted the shelves today. I'm was having trouble finding studs!!!!! Ha! Ha! With the pantry complete and cleaned that means the aluminum folding table in the dining room is gone!!!!! All of the items vacationing there are now in their proper home!
My gosh! It's beginning to feel like a home and it's beginning to look like a home. I must admit I was starting to doubt myself and I think I had allowed myself to fall into a slump. Not good! Slumps are for frumps. And that ain't me!
Right now, this very moment, without any hesitation, I'm inviting ALL OF YOU to come for a visit. (If I were you I'd wait until late spring or summer.) Lots of people verbally invite others but I really mean it. I told the carpenters and painters today that after the first of the year I would invite all of them for a Kentucky lunch. They all laughed at me and said every customer says that and I'd be the first to follow through with it. I couldn't believe it. I told them I was making a commitment to them and they would be invited. Commitment, what a word. If you made a list of your top five commitments, what would be on that list? Think about it.
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!!!!
What a day with the re-modelers! The snow is beautiful but not so when it's tracked in over and over and over again. I had 3 groups of workers today and I mopped between each arrival. My kitchen floor is a large black and white diamond pattern and is dynamite when it's clean. (What was I thinking?????) I love it anyway!
The great news is the downstairs powder room off the kitchen is COMPLETE!!!!!! I have cleaned it top to bottom and there's just not a cooler looking 1/2 bath in the world! Black, white and silver with red accessories. Toilet seat and vanity mat are zebra print.
The pantry is also complete. I tried to do it myself but ran into a problem that required more knowledge than I had. One of the carpenters found the studs and mounted the shelves today. I'm was having trouble finding studs!!!!! Ha! Ha! With the pantry complete and cleaned that means the aluminum folding table in the dining room is gone!!!!! All of the items vacationing there are now in their proper home!
My gosh! It's beginning to feel like a home and it's beginning to look like a home. I must admit I was starting to doubt myself and I think I had allowed myself to fall into a slump. Not good! Slumps are for frumps. And that ain't me!
Right now, this very moment, without any hesitation, I'm inviting ALL OF YOU to come for a visit. (If I were you I'd wait until late spring or summer.) Lots of people verbally invite others but I really mean it. I told the carpenters and painters today that after the first of the year I would invite all of them for a Kentucky lunch. They all laughed at me and said every customer says that and I'd be the first to follow through with it. I couldn't believe it. I told them I was making a commitment to them and they would be invited. Commitment, what a word. If you made a list of your top five commitments, what would be on that list? Think about it.
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!!!!
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
AMEN!
I'm sending a HUGE thank you to my "amen chorus". You all got me goin' and the big tree is decorated. It looks fantastic! And I probably gained 50 pounds because I ate the whole bag of peanut butter oreos! (And it was a new bag...I opened it, ate it all and then threw away the evidence!!!)
The Store House of Joy - to be added to in times of plenty and to be taken from in times of need. HCB/'98
In good conversation, we enter another person's world. HCB/'01
The high temperature here today was 23 and that's cold. It snowed most of the afternoon but the wind was blowing so hard there wasn't much accumulation. They are forecasting snow for the next 4 days. I understand it snowed in Louisville today too. You see...you might as well come and visit me. The weather's the same!
I know I have workers all over my first floor but today I made a decision and have started my own project. There was a coat closet just inside the back door. I decided to make that closet a pantry. I emptied it then used the electric screwdriver to remove the hanging bar and 5 hooks. I went to the "DoItCenter" (kinda like your neighborhood hardware store only I had to drive to the next town) and bought 12 brackets and 4 shelves. I have just completed applying the first coat of paint to the walls and ceiling. As soon as it's dry (or close to it) I will give it another coat of paint. Then, drum roll please, I am going to attach the brackets to the wall, attach the shelves to the brackets, and load it up with all the food on the dining room table!!!!!! Can't wait and plan to have this done before I go to bed tonight. Getting a new refrigerator tomorrow so I'm very close to organizing my kitchen. Praise the Lord!!!!
Life does go on regardless of whatever is happening all around you.
Just when you think you have control of your life there's a speed bump.
Prayer can always save your day.
There is nothing better than good friends, and I am blessed to have many!
I keep a list of those people and things I'm praying for and today each one of you is on it. And I love to picture you as I pray. Most of the images are you smiling and having a good time. In some of the images I see pain in your eyes because of a burden you are carrying right now. If you've done all you can, let the burden go. Often there are more ahead. It's what makes us wiser and gives us a clearer vision. Remember that phrase - Today is the first day of the rest of your life? It is.
The Store House of Joy - to be added to in times of plenty and to be taken from in times of need. HCB/'98
In good conversation, we enter another person's world. HCB/'01
The high temperature here today was 23 and that's cold. It snowed most of the afternoon but the wind was blowing so hard there wasn't much accumulation. They are forecasting snow for the next 4 days. I understand it snowed in Louisville today too. You see...you might as well come and visit me. The weather's the same!
I know I have workers all over my first floor but today I made a decision and have started my own project. There was a coat closet just inside the back door. I decided to make that closet a pantry. I emptied it then used the electric screwdriver to remove the hanging bar and 5 hooks. I went to the "DoItCenter" (kinda like your neighborhood hardware store only I had to drive to the next town) and bought 12 brackets and 4 shelves. I have just completed applying the first coat of paint to the walls and ceiling. As soon as it's dry (or close to it) I will give it another coat of paint. Then, drum roll please, I am going to attach the brackets to the wall, attach the shelves to the brackets, and load it up with all the food on the dining room table!!!!!! Can't wait and plan to have this done before I go to bed tonight. Getting a new refrigerator tomorrow so I'm very close to organizing my kitchen. Praise the Lord!!!!
Life does go on regardless of whatever is happening all around you.
Just when you think you have control of your life there's a speed bump.
Prayer can always save your day.
There is nothing better than good friends, and I am blessed to have many!
I keep a list of those people and things I'm praying for and today each one of you is on it. And I love to picture you as I pray. Most of the images are you smiling and having a good time. In some of the images I see pain in your eyes because of a burden you are carrying right now. If you've done all you can, let the burden go. Often there are more ahead. It's what makes us wiser and gives us a clearer vision. Remember that phrase - Today is the first day of the rest of your life? It is.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Bearin' my soul talkin' about another first!
Last year at Christmastime I was in Louisville staying at my sister Linda's home. All my Louisville "stuff" was in storage so I was enjoying everyone else's holiday decorations and participating in their traditions. Not until today did I realize what a gift that was.
This afternoon Brett took me to the woods and we (he) cut down a Christmas tree for my living room. I had already found and unpacked the ornaments for what we always called the big tree. I do have my ballet tree up and decorated, but then again I have always done that by myself. Brett trimmed the bottom to fit in the stand and brought it in the house. It's standing straight and tall exactly where I wanted it. Brett left, TR went to work, today's assortment of re-modelers left (after making a mess of the kitchen floor AGAIN!!!), and I am left alone to decorate this tree. HC Baker hadn't decorated a Christmas tree in many a year but he was always the one to build the fire, make the hot chocolate, and of course...supervise!
So here I am...alone to decorate this tree. All the decorations are lined up on the coffee table, I have tested all the lights and they work, the garland is ready to "round" the tree, and the star is looking toward the it's place at the very top. I was able to find a Christmas music station on the TV because I have no idea where our CD player is nor do I know where the CD's are! I'm all set.
So why am I just sitting here looking at all this stuff? The excitement of doing this has completely left me. It's with a sense of dread that I have to do this...alone. If I really think about it, I could cry, but every time I think I might cry, I get angry with HC. Why???? Because it's all his fault I'm alone. Then when I get this way I begin to question everything I've done since he died. And I hate that! I can't even escape to the mall unless I want to drive 3 hours! And I don't. OK what to do?
Here's the plan. I'm going to fix myself some dinner. I think it will be one of those P.F. Changs frozen things. I love those and they fix fast! Then I'm going to treat myself to a bag of peanut butter oreos (I love those things too) and then I'm going to decorate this tree. Hopefully tomorrow I can boast that it's done! Do I hear an AMEN out there in "blogland"!!!!!
This afternoon Brett took me to the woods and we (he) cut down a Christmas tree for my living room. I had already found and unpacked the ornaments for what we always called the big tree. I do have my ballet tree up and decorated, but then again I have always done that by myself. Brett trimmed the bottom to fit in the stand and brought it in the house. It's standing straight and tall exactly where I wanted it. Brett left, TR went to work, today's assortment of re-modelers left (after making a mess of the kitchen floor AGAIN!!!), and I am left alone to decorate this tree. HC Baker hadn't decorated a Christmas tree in many a year but he was always the one to build the fire, make the hot chocolate, and of course...supervise!
So here I am...alone to decorate this tree. All the decorations are lined up on the coffee table, I have tested all the lights and they work, the garland is ready to "round" the tree, and the star is looking toward the it's place at the very top. I was able to find a Christmas music station on the TV because I have no idea where our CD player is nor do I know where the CD's are! I'm all set.
So why am I just sitting here looking at all this stuff? The excitement of doing this has completely left me. It's with a sense of dread that I have to do this...alone. If I really think about it, I could cry, but every time I think I might cry, I get angry with HC. Why???? Because it's all his fault I'm alone. Then when I get this way I begin to question everything I've done since he died. And I hate that! I can't even escape to the mall unless I want to drive 3 hours! And I don't. OK what to do?
Here's the plan. I'm going to fix myself some dinner. I think it will be one of those P.F. Changs frozen things. I love those and they fix fast! Then I'm going to treat myself to a bag of peanut butter oreos (I love those things too) and then I'm going to decorate this tree. Hopefully tomorrow I can boast that it's done! Do I hear an AMEN out there in "blogland"!!!!!
Monday, December 5, 2011
Prayer according to HC Baker
First I must tell you in the past week I have received several wonderful phone calls from dear, dear friends as well as all the comments you leave for me on my FB page. All of you are so kind to share your appreciation for my "blogging". (As a former dancer at least it rhymes with clogging and that's close!) Anyway, FYI...I normally do not respond to comments readers post on FB. I would be writing all day. BUT...I want each of you to know how special you are to me. As most of you know, I can talk a lot. But words completely fail me when I try to tell you what you mean to me. All of our lives are journeys but when you are thrown into an unexpected journey the likes of which you have never experienced, it's quite a ride. And all along the way it's incredible to know that when you falter in any direction, friends are there to stand you up again. It's so true what the song says, Friends are friends forever!
I heard a great comment on a local christian radio station today, 105.9, The Promise. Do not know the source but here it is. "Life has a way of trashing our trophies!" In a nutshell, the story was about 2 teenage brothers who needed a prop to help with a household chore they were doing without anyone asking. They took it upon themselves to do this for their parents. The prop they chose to use to help dry out the basement carpet that was wet from a rain leak was a high school sports trophy hard earned by their father. The father, while pleased and proud of his sons, had a difficult time overlooking the now ruined trophy that meant so much to him. Fortunately (we should all be so lucky), he was able to get control of himself before he spoke and congratulated, thanked and hugged his sons. That comment applies to so much of our lives. Think about how it applies to you.
HC Baker was a great "pray-er". Sometimes I would forewarn him to watch his time. His prayers could go on and on and on even at our dinner table at home. But again...that was HC Baker. In his little black binder he must have a hundred comments, quotes, and articles about prayer. Many of them have been cut out of a magazine or newspaper article or where ever.
Prayer is the soul's sincere desire unuttered or expressed.
The motion of a hidden fire that trembles in the breast.
Prayer is the burden of a sigh, the falling of a tear.
The upward glancing of an eye when none but God is near.
O thou by whom we come to God, the Life, the Truth, the Way.
The path of prayer thyself hast trod Lord teach us how to pray.
Another comment...
"The greatest thing anyone can do for God and man is to pray. It is not the only thing, but it is the chief thing. The great people of the earth today are the people who pray. I do not mean those who talk about prayer; nor those who say they believe in prayer; but I mean those people who take time to pray. They do not have time. It must be taken from something else. This something else is important, very important and pressing, but still less important and less pressing than prayer."
And finally...
"Prayer is simply carrying on a conversation with God. That's what Jesus told his disciples. Prayer is talking to God about His will and our needs. It's talking to Him just as if He were with us, because He is.
Talk to God right now about His will and your needs. You don't need churchy language. Just be yourself."
You are all in my prayers and trust me, there's no "churchy language" out of my mouth. Oh that reminds me of a funny story about HC and me. Many years ago after a Sunday morning service, HC Baker was speaking with a visitor. He was doin' his thing! I went over to him about the time the visitor asked HC if he was one of the ministers. I burst out laughing and said the only way we'd know the Lord had called HC to the ministry would be if at the same time he called HC, he struck me dead!!!!! See how fun our life together was?
Blessings to you all! xxoo
I heard a great comment on a local christian radio station today, 105.9, The Promise. Do not know the source but here it is. "Life has a way of trashing our trophies!" In a nutshell, the story was about 2 teenage brothers who needed a prop to help with a household chore they were doing without anyone asking. They took it upon themselves to do this for their parents. The prop they chose to use to help dry out the basement carpet that was wet from a rain leak was a high school sports trophy hard earned by their father. The father, while pleased and proud of his sons, had a difficult time overlooking the now ruined trophy that meant so much to him. Fortunately (we should all be so lucky), he was able to get control of himself before he spoke and congratulated, thanked and hugged his sons. That comment applies to so much of our lives. Think about how it applies to you.
HC Baker was a great "pray-er". Sometimes I would forewarn him to watch his time. His prayers could go on and on and on even at our dinner table at home. But again...that was HC Baker. In his little black binder he must have a hundred comments, quotes, and articles about prayer. Many of them have been cut out of a magazine or newspaper article or where ever.
Prayer is the soul's sincere desire unuttered or expressed.
The motion of a hidden fire that trembles in the breast.
Prayer is the burden of a sigh, the falling of a tear.
The upward glancing of an eye when none but God is near.
O thou by whom we come to God, the Life, the Truth, the Way.
The path of prayer thyself hast trod Lord teach us how to pray.
Another comment...
"The greatest thing anyone can do for God and man is to pray. It is not the only thing, but it is the chief thing. The great people of the earth today are the people who pray. I do not mean those who talk about prayer; nor those who say they believe in prayer; but I mean those people who take time to pray. They do not have time. It must be taken from something else. This something else is important, very important and pressing, but still less important and less pressing than prayer."
And finally...
"Prayer is simply carrying on a conversation with God. That's what Jesus told his disciples. Prayer is talking to God about His will and our needs. It's talking to Him just as if He were with us, because He is.
Talk to God right now about His will and your needs. You don't need churchy language. Just be yourself."
You are all in my prayers and trust me, there's no "churchy language" out of my mouth. Oh that reminds me of a funny story about HC and me. Many years ago after a Sunday morning service, HC Baker was speaking with a visitor. He was doin' his thing! I went over to him about the time the visitor asked HC if he was one of the ministers. I burst out laughing and said the only way we'd know the Lord had called HC to the ministry would be if at the same time he called HC, he struck me dead!!!!! See how fun our life together was?
Blessings to you all! xxoo
Sunday, December 4, 2011
More from HC Baker!
I have found this old small 6 ring binder that is full of clippings, original writings, pictures and personal thoughts. (I'm finally getting to empty boxes from Barrington Court.)
FYI...HC Baker's father died when HC was 5 years old. He died in the polio epidemic of the early '50's. He was taken from home in an ambulance to the VA hospital where he died. Because of the disease, the funerals were "closed" with immediate burial. HC never saw him again after he left their home. He once told me he was never really sure his dad died because he didn't see him dead. There is no doubt HC Baker's one true desire was to meet his Lord and Savior, and I am certain he did. There is also no doubt in my mind HC Baker had quite a few questions for the Lord and once those questions were answered, I'm sure HC went in search of his dad. I found this today.
"Not unlike Moses, who for 40 years wandered lost in the desert, I still wake at times looking for you. Was that you on the street ahead of me today...Did you pass me in the hallway that day some twenty years ago?
Oh, I don't know.
You know all those stories about you I heard as a kid? They were like beautiful music when you weren't there. How I still like to hear them. I would rather have been your son one more hour.
Oh well.
By the way...I never did say good-bye, When you're five, good-byes seem like they are forever. Maybe that's why I didn't do it...I don't know...
When you left, I was so confused and hurt...I still am sometimes.
Oh well.
You know they sold or gave away or took most of the material things you had. I guess they didn't want what was most important to you. I found it though...
Without you and your faith in God, I would never have made it.
Thanks, I needed Him!
I remember what you were wearing the last time I saw you. I haven't liked white since. Those white sheets that covered your lifeless body as they carried you from the house covered everything but the kind of fear that was new to a kid my age.
Oh well.
You would have been proud of Mom. I guess you knew that when you married her. She worked real hard. She gave so much of herself to us kids that sometimes I'm sure God gave her 26 hours in a day to get it done.
When you've only got one...it's nice when she can love so much.
For some who knew you and knew that you weren't perfect, that's OK...I do too. And I don't guess it's so strange to want to have or want to be the very thing we cannot have. But there's so much about you I don't know. I've constructed me without all the pieces.
Oh well...I'm doing the best I can.
I had hoped as a father or husband or person, I could do more, or be more, or give more. But the irony of life is that what I learned to give was only time. The time I never had before. I cannot seem to give away the love that is hidden away inside.
Oh well...I'll keep trying."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don't know who wrote this but it was in the binder taped to a page.
On this day
Mend a quarrel
Search out a forgotten friend
Dismiss a suspicion and replace it with trust
Write a letter to someone who misses you
Encourage a youth who has lost faith
Keep a promise
Forget an old grudge
Examine your demands on others and vow to reduce them
Fight for a principle
Express your gratitude
Overcome an old fear
Take two minutes to appreciate the beauty of nature
Tell someone you love them
Tell them again
And again
And again.
FYI...HC Baker's father died when HC was 5 years old. He died in the polio epidemic of the early '50's. He was taken from home in an ambulance to the VA hospital where he died. Because of the disease, the funerals were "closed" with immediate burial. HC never saw him again after he left their home. He once told me he was never really sure his dad died because he didn't see him dead. There is no doubt HC Baker's one true desire was to meet his Lord and Savior, and I am certain he did. There is also no doubt in my mind HC Baker had quite a few questions for the Lord and once those questions were answered, I'm sure HC went in search of his dad. I found this today.
"Not unlike Moses, who for 40 years wandered lost in the desert, I still wake at times looking for you. Was that you on the street ahead of me today...Did you pass me in the hallway that day some twenty years ago?
Oh, I don't know.
You know all those stories about you I heard as a kid? They were like beautiful music when you weren't there. How I still like to hear them. I would rather have been your son one more hour.
Oh well.
By the way...I never did say good-bye, When you're five, good-byes seem like they are forever. Maybe that's why I didn't do it...I don't know...
When you left, I was so confused and hurt...I still am sometimes.
Oh well.
You know they sold or gave away or took most of the material things you had. I guess they didn't want what was most important to you. I found it though...
Without you and your faith in God, I would never have made it.
Thanks, I needed Him!
I remember what you were wearing the last time I saw you. I haven't liked white since. Those white sheets that covered your lifeless body as they carried you from the house covered everything but the kind of fear that was new to a kid my age.
Oh well.
You would have been proud of Mom. I guess you knew that when you married her. She worked real hard. She gave so much of herself to us kids that sometimes I'm sure God gave her 26 hours in a day to get it done.
When you've only got one...it's nice when she can love so much.
For some who knew you and knew that you weren't perfect, that's OK...I do too. And I don't guess it's so strange to want to have or want to be the very thing we cannot have. But there's so much about you I don't know. I've constructed me without all the pieces.
Oh well...I'm doing the best I can.
I had hoped as a father or husband or person, I could do more, or be more, or give more. But the irony of life is that what I learned to give was only time. The time I never had before. I cannot seem to give away the love that is hidden away inside.
Oh well...I'll keep trying."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don't know who wrote this but it was in the binder taped to a page.
On this day
Mend a quarrel
Search out a forgotten friend
Dismiss a suspicion and replace it with trust
Write a letter to someone who misses you
Encourage a youth who has lost faith
Keep a promise
Forget an old grudge
Examine your demands on others and vow to reduce them
Fight for a principle
Express your gratitude
Overcome an old fear
Take two minutes to appreciate the beauty of nature
Tell someone you love them
Tell them again
And again
And again.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Some HC Thoughts!
Sorting through some files today and found HC Baker's trusty dusty "note" box. Remember how he loves things in a box! Here's a bit of what I found. (I'm editing as I go!)
There's an article he tore out of a magazine about angels. Here's what he underlined.
"Or is it (angels) really us, mere humans, who for a moment are picked up by the hand of God and made to speak unwittingly the words another needs to hear, or to hold out a lifeline to another soul?"
An article out of the Home Life magazine, November 1990, regarding 4 things that help to survive grief.
Tears - Please don't be afraid of my tears because that makes me more afraid of them. ...they aren't the end of the world.
Touch - We all need hugs everyday, but in grief we need them more. If I cling to you don't be embarrassed. You are God loving me through your hands and arms. Together we can be wrapped in a heavenly hug and who knows what kind of hope and healing will happen.
Talk - Ask me how I am and don't let me get away with "fine" because I'm not. Talking today will make talking tomorrow easier. Love and laughter lead us down the road to wholeness.
Time - The bad memories are softened around the edges like an out-of-focus picture. The hole left in me no longer seems like the black hole in space but more like a well with a bottom.
So for a person grieving, take some of your time that is so precious and talk with them. Touch them and let the tears water a special bond that can grow between you.
HC wrote this to share during a Sunday morning service shortly after The Hollon family joined our congregation. He called it "My Testimony".
"Good morning...listen for just a minute...please do not move because there is a fire in the house. Not the kind of fire so many of us remember with cold and unkind thoughts...not the kind of fire that destroys...
Fear not...for God is with us!!!
This new fire is a friendly fire, a warm and healing fire, a fire who's light illuminates the darkness and chases away the evil that has been hiding there. Some months ago the Pastor Search Committee invited each of us to pray earnestly for God's presence with us and His leadership and guidance in the journey in search of our new pastor. One by one the Holy Spirit pasted the flames from this new fire onto each of the search committee members and then Les and Vicki. And as they grew in faith and confidence in the presence of the Holy Spirit, the fire began to spread to you and to me.
As more and more of us see the light, feel the warmth, and let our light shine, more and more of God's spirit is shared. And in this renewal, more souls will be saved. I have seen this new fire in some of your eyes, I have felt the growing warmth in your heart and mine. It feels wonderful!!!
Today's text in Matthew 4 talks about Jesus walking along the shores of the Sea of Galilee when He calls Simon Peter, Andrew, James and John. The Bible says they stopped immediately what they were doing and followed Him. Years later as the Spirit walked along the shores of the Ohio River calling for me...I ran!!! Maybe not unlike some of you, I was a sinner and I was ashamed. And not unlike the little boy in the Gospels, I had very little to offer. My loaves and fishes were few.
But in the struggle God showed me He knew about my sins, and He knew that my talents were few. But if I would surrender to Him, He would wash away my sins and multiply my gifts for the glory of His kingdom. And He would love me forever.
And on that day, the day I gave what little I had, I received not only life everlasting, forgiveness of my sins, and the promise that He would never leave me, but a special gift, a scripture verse that was then and is now the story of my journey, My Testimony.
I share with you now Psalm 34:1-8
Let us magnify the Lord and praise His name together!! May this new fire rekindle the spirit in all our hearts.
(NOTE: I have the 4 Bibles HC loved and read the most. In each of them the words of Psalm 34 are very nearly rubbed off the page.)
There's an article he tore out of a magazine about angels. Here's what he underlined.
"Or is it (angels) really us, mere humans, who for a moment are picked up by the hand of God and made to speak unwittingly the words another needs to hear, or to hold out a lifeline to another soul?"
An article out of the Home Life magazine, November 1990, regarding 4 things that help to survive grief.
Tears - Please don't be afraid of my tears because that makes me more afraid of them. ...they aren't the end of the world.
Touch - We all need hugs everyday, but in grief we need them more. If I cling to you don't be embarrassed. You are God loving me through your hands and arms. Together we can be wrapped in a heavenly hug and who knows what kind of hope and healing will happen.
Talk - Ask me how I am and don't let me get away with "fine" because I'm not. Talking today will make talking tomorrow easier. Love and laughter lead us down the road to wholeness.
Time - The bad memories are softened around the edges like an out-of-focus picture. The hole left in me no longer seems like the black hole in space but more like a well with a bottom.
So for a person grieving, take some of your time that is so precious and talk with them. Touch them and let the tears water a special bond that can grow between you.
HC wrote this to share during a Sunday morning service shortly after The Hollon family joined our congregation. He called it "My Testimony".
"Good morning...listen for just a minute...please do not move because there is a fire in the house. Not the kind of fire so many of us remember with cold and unkind thoughts...not the kind of fire that destroys...
Fear not...for God is with us!!!
This new fire is a friendly fire, a warm and healing fire, a fire who's light illuminates the darkness and chases away the evil that has been hiding there. Some months ago the Pastor Search Committee invited each of us to pray earnestly for God's presence with us and His leadership and guidance in the journey in search of our new pastor. One by one the Holy Spirit pasted the flames from this new fire onto each of the search committee members and then Les and Vicki. And as they grew in faith and confidence in the presence of the Holy Spirit, the fire began to spread to you and to me.
As more and more of us see the light, feel the warmth, and let our light shine, more and more of God's spirit is shared. And in this renewal, more souls will be saved. I have seen this new fire in some of your eyes, I have felt the growing warmth in your heart and mine. It feels wonderful!!!
Today's text in Matthew 4 talks about Jesus walking along the shores of the Sea of Galilee when He calls Simon Peter, Andrew, James and John. The Bible says they stopped immediately what they were doing and followed Him. Years later as the Spirit walked along the shores of the Ohio River calling for me...I ran!!! Maybe not unlike some of you, I was a sinner and I was ashamed. And not unlike the little boy in the Gospels, I had very little to offer. My loaves and fishes were few.
But in the struggle God showed me He knew about my sins, and He knew that my talents were few. But if I would surrender to Him, He would wash away my sins and multiply my gifts for the glory of His kingdom. And He would love me forever.
And on that day, the day I gave what little I had, I received not only life everlasting, forgiveness of my sins, and the promise that He would never leave me, but a special gift, a scripture verse that was then and is now the story of my journey, My Testimony.
I share with you now Psalm 34:1-8
Let us magnify the Lord and praise His name together!! May this new fire rekindle the spirit in all our hearts.
(NOTE: I have the 4 Bibles HC loved and read the most. In each of them the words of Psalm 34 are very nearly rubbed off the page.)
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Questions on a gray day
It's very cold, rainy, snow flurries, and gray. I have been confined to my bedroom most of the day due to my re-modelers on the first floor. I have been able to complete a lot of the paperwork that has accumulated in the past week. (That means I have been remiss in filing receipts, bills and correspondence.) I've read a new book, organized the linen closet, and changed the beds (I hate that job!). Saws, paint brushes and that "dadgum" power hammer have shaken the glass in the windows. What to do next?
I keep a list of questions in front of me that I'm always contemplating. I currently have five on the list.
1. What must I complete by 12/31/11?
That question is another list all by itself, but an easy list to compose. Most of the things on it are pretty obvious. No real concerns there.
2. What will be my goals for the first quarter of 2012? 2012...can you believe it?
The winter lasts a long time up here but I will be busy getting things ready for spring. With the completion of the first floor, I can organize and prepare for what comes next. Primarily, it's the front porch. It's on the front of the house, windows on 3 sides overlooking Mullet Lake. It will be a huge project but with wonderful results. And like most of you, when I work, I think. Personal thinking for me is great therapy. It allows me to ask and answer lots of questions and concerns. I call it my own positive feedback!
3. What's in my heart today? (That's a good question I ask myself everyday.)
What do I need to do to help somebody or something? Sunday school taught all of us to "do unto others". Sometimes it's easy and sometimes it's very difficult. Sometimes the person or thing is very close to us and sometimes it's an international issue. I tell myself if we all do just one little thing every day what a difference it will make in our world.
4. Who needs my prayers today? (Another one I ask every day.)
I have to honestly say some days the first person on my list is me and some days there are so many others on my list I forget about me. We all need prayer for us as well as others. Do you ever have days when the words of your prayer just won't come to you? Dear Heavenly Father...and then nothing. You know you have lots to say but the words are tumbling around in your head so fast, none of them can escape into your thoughts. My solution to that, "Be still and know that I am God." It works every time.
5. What would HC Baker think about what I'm doing? (That question is always on my list!)
After a particularly difficult yesterday, the main workers (Joe and Tommy) came in this morning very quietly and from the looks on their faces, I think they were wondering when I would "blow" today? I looked at them and said I decided last night if HC Baker could, he would work his ashes back into his physical form, appear before me and ask what the hell I was doing! This re-model has been happening for 44 work days and with the weekends and holidays included when the house was upside down, that number would be closer to 64. And that is the #1 reason he/we never had a project like this when he was alive. He would not have been able to stand the mess. His world was organized and re-organized and re-re-organized. Yesterday I found another yellow legal pad filled with his notes on something. Haven't figured out what just yet. But that was HC Baker. Make a plan and work your plan. Ask anyone who worked in a kitchen with him on a mission trip or anywhere else. He gave at least 100% of himself and expected everyone else to do the same. So I work very hard at trying to stay organized and most importantly, giving the full measure of myself to everything I do.
And that is the answer to all 5 questions...Giving the full measure of myself to everything I do. Isn't that what's expected of us all?
I keep a list of questions in front of me that I'm always contemplating. I currently have five on the list.
1. What must I complete by 12/31/11?
That question is another list all by itself, but an easy list to compose. Most of the things on it are pretty obvious. No real concerns there.
2. What will be my goals for the first quarter of 2012? 2012...can you believe it?
The winter lasts a long time up here but I will be busy getting things ready for spring. With the completion of the first floor, I can organize and prepare for what comes next. Primarily, it's the front porch. It's on the front of the house, windows on 3 sides overlooking Mullet Lake. It will be a huge project but with wonderful results. And like most of you, when I work, I think. Personal thinking for me is great therapy. It allows me to ask and answer lots of questions and concerns. I call it my own positive feedback!
3. What's in my heart today? (That's a good question I ask myself everyday.)
What do I need to do to help somebody or something? Sunday school taught all of us to "do unto others". Sometimes it's easy and sometimes it's very difficult. Sometimes the person or thing is very close to us and sometimes it's an international issue. I tell myself if we all do just one little thing every day what a difference it will make in our world.
4. Who needs my prayers today? (Another one I ask every day.)
I have to honestly say some days the first person on my list is me and some days there are so many others on my list I forget about me. We all need prayer for us as well as others. Do you ever have days when the words of your prayer just won't come to you? Dear Heavenly Father...and then nothing. You know you have lots to say but the words are tumbling around in your head so fast, none of them can escape into your thoughts. My solution to that, "Be still and know that I am God." It works every time.
5. What would HC Baker think about what I'm doing? (That question is always on my list!)
After a particularly difficult yesterday, the main workers (Joe and Tommy) came in this morning very quietly and from the looks on their faces, I think they were wondering when I would "blow" today? I looked at them and said I decided last night if HC Baker could, he would work his ashes back into his physical form, appear before me and ask what the hell I was doing! This re-model has been happening for 44 work days and with the weekends and holidays included when the house was upside down, that number would be closer to 64. And that is the #1 reason he/we never had a project like this when he was alive. He would not have been able to stand the mess. His world was organized and re-organized and re-re-organized. Yesterday I found another yellow legal pad filled with his notes on something. Haven't figured out what just yet. But that was HC Baker. Make a plan and work your plan. Ask anyone who worked in a kitchen with him on a mission trip or anywhere else. He gave at least 100% of himself and expected everyone else to do the same. So I work very hard at trying to stay organized and most importantly, giving the full measure of myself to everything I do.
And that is the answer to all 5 questions...Giving the full measure of myself to everything I do. Isn't that what's expected of us all?
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly!
The Ugly -
My kitchen, my powder room, my laundry room
The Bad -
My brand new refrigerator that I have had less than one week quit working! A new one has been ordered! The dishwasher with the door that wouldn't open due to close proximity to the stove has been replaced but the water needed to use it is turned off because they installed the countertops today. (They look beautiful but the glue/grout stuff they sealed them with smells horrific all over the house!!!!) Plumber comes tomorrow. Don't pour anything down that sink or use the powder room...PLEASE! The refrigerator repair man as he was leaving asked if he could talk to me. He wanted to offer me suggestions on how to keep frozen food in the freezer. He said I probably had too much in there and that might have caused the appliance to quit working. Pregnant pause and very deep breath on my part before I said...Listen Bucko - I am 64 years old, mother to 3, grandmother to 6 with a house that is upside down and whatever you might think of my kitchen abilities, DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT INSTRUCTING ME ON FREEZER ORGANIZATION! (capitalized because I was shouting!) He left post haste! The other workers in the house were very quiet the rest of the day.
NOTE: Tomorrow the carpet people are back to install the stair runner. I don't even remember what it looks like. The plumber will come and connect the new sinks with the faucets, "install" the dishwasher, and restore the water supply. Friday the tile guy is supposed to appear and do his part which will be completed on Monday when he does the "grout" thing. Painters will re-appear sometime and touch-up all the places that have been scratched by other tasks! I can do this! I can do this! I can do this! My contractor says it's almost over. Hurry! Living in the house during a re-model SUCKS! Enough...
The Good -
I read on FB that Kathy Ludwig saw the movie HUGO today and highly recommends it. I love movies and I love to go to the movies. Popcorn with extra butter, diet coke and leave me alone! One of my favorite things to do is when Cinda organizes (I should ask her about her freezer) a dinner and a movie night with all her special treats. Love it! Anyway, HC Baker hated going to the movies. I think it had to do with childhood memories. His father died when he was five and he was the oldest of 3. His mother had to go to work and when the children got older she used the Saturday afternoon movie at the Vogue as a babysitter. I think HC always resented movies because it meant his mother had to work and could not be with them. June was a fabulous mother and back then being a single mother was very hard work. No daycares among other things. Fortunately her mother and father, Gandy and PawPaw were close by and often filled in for her. Back to the movies...
This was a long time ago when HC and I were dating!!!!! I wanted to see Evergreen with Barbra Streisand and Kris Kristofferson. HC said he would take me. WOW! I was excited. We went to the movie theatre in Holiday Manor (how many of you remember that?). HC bought the tickets, got me my popcorn and soda (don't think they had diet coke yet) and we went in and sat down. After about 30 seconds HC said he'd be right back and away he went. This was also before cell phones and HC was always on the phone. I thought he had to make a phone call. The movie began and I was lost in the performance. It wasn't until the end that I realized HC Baker had never returned. Where in the world was he? As I got up he came running down the aisle to our (?) seats. Not in a pleasant, loving voice I asked where did you go? He said he found the theatre manager and talked him into letting him go into his office and watch his TV. It seems there was a huge Ali boxing match televised that night and HC wanted to see it. He explained he took me to the movie, bought me popcorn and a soda, and "left" me alone. He said it was perfect. I got to do what I wanted and he got to do what he wanted. It was a sign but apparently I was sign blind! We did go to the movie together one other time in our marriage. St Matthews Baptist Church bought a showing of The Passion of the Christ. We went together and sat together for the entire film. Two movies in 40 years! I remember them both with a smile on my face and love in my heart!
My kitchen, my powder room, my laundry room
The Bad -
My brand new refrigerator that I have had less than one week quit working! A new one has been ordered! The dishwasher with the door that wouldn't open due to close proximity to the stove has been replaced but the water needed to use it is turned off because they installed the countertops today. (They look beautiful but the glue/grout stuff they sealed them with smells horrific all over the house!!!!) Plumber comes tomorrow. Don't pour anything down that sink or use the powder room...PLEASE! The refrigerator repair man as he was leaving asked if he could talk to me. He wanted to offer me suggestions on how to keep frozen food in the freezer. He said I probably had too much in there and that might have caused the appliance to quit working. Pregnant pause and very deep breath on my part before I said...Listen Bucko - I am 64 years old, mother to 3, grandmother to 6 with a house that is upside down and whatever you might think of my kitchen abilities, DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT INSTRUCTING ME ON FREEZER ORGANIZATION! (capitalized because I was shouting!) He left post haste! The other workers in the house were very quiet the rest of the day.
NOTE: Tomorrow the carpet people are back to install the stair runner. I don't even remember what it looks like. The plumber will come and connect the new sinks with the faucets, "install" the dishwasher, and restore the water supply. Friday the tile guy is supposed to appear and do his part which will be completed on Monday when he does the "grout" thing. Painters will re-appear sometime and touch-up all the places that have been scratched by other tasks! I can do this! I can do this! I can do this! My contractor says it's almost over. Hurry! Living in the house during a re-model SUCKS! Enough...
The Good -
I read on FB that Kathy Ludwig saw the movie HUGO today and highly recommends it. I love movies and I love to go to the movies. Popcorn with extra butter, diet coke and leave me alone! One of my favorite things to do is when Cinda organizes (I should ask her about her freezer) a dinner and a movie night with all her special treats. Love it! Anyway, HC Baker hated going to the movies. I think it had to do with childhood memories. His father died when he was five and he was the oldest of 3. His mother had to go to work and when the children got older she used the Saturday afternoon movie at the Vogue as a babysitter. I think HC always resented movies because it meant his mother had to work and could not be with them. June was a fabulous mother and back then being a single mother was very hard work. No daycares among other things. Fortunately her mother and father, Gandy and PawPaw were close by and often filled in for her. Back to the movies...
This was a long time ago when HC and I were dating!!!!! I wanted to see Evergreen with Barbra Streisand and Kris Kristofferson. HC said he would take me. WOW! I was excited. We went to the movie theatre in Holiday Manor (how many of you remember that?). HC bought the tickets, got me my popcorn and soda (don't think they had diet coke yet) and we went in and sat down. After about 30 seconds HC said he'd be right back and away he went. This was also before cell phones and HC was always on the phone. I thought he had to make a phone call. The movie began and I was lost in the performance. It wasn't until the end that I realized HC Baker had never returned. Where in the world was he? As I got up he came running down the aisle to our (?) seats. Not in a pleasant, loving voice I asked where did you go? He said he found the theatre manager and talked him into letting him go into his office and watch his TV. It seems there was a huge Ali boxing match televised that night and HC wanted to see it. He explained he took me to the movie, bought me popcorn and a soda, and "left" me alone. He said it was perfect. I got to do what I wanted and he got to do what he wanted. It was a sign but apparently I was sign blind! We did go to the movie together one other time in our marriage. St Matthews Baptist Church bought a showing of The Passion of the Christ. We went together and sat together for the entire film. Two movies in 40 years! I remember them both with a smile on my face and love in my heart!
Monday, November 28, 2011
Books of Life
Not a day goes by that I don't think of HC Baker. Different things trigger those moments. Today I was determined to empty the boxes of books from our Louisville home and Witt Cottage and put them in the bookshelves in the den. HC and I loved books and we were always reading. I remember one night I was reading a book called "The Sweet Potato Queens". (If you haven't read it, you must. It is about southern women and it is hilarious!) We were both reading in bed and I was laughing so hard HC finally asked what was so funny? I read him several very colorful paragraphs about husbands and wives and he rolled over, turned out his light and went to sleep. He didn't think it was near as funny as I did!
Anyway, when he died, I gave away so many of our books. I had read them and thought others would enjoy reading them too. I invited friends to come over and take what they wanted. HC also must have had 30 Bibles. I was so happy to give them to Seyoung and Euisoon Kang for the wonderful work they do in their very special ministry. HC loved them both as well as their son, Dongyon. When Dongyon returned to Korea for his military obligation, HC and Jack Fox took him to the airport for his departure. They promised they would pick him up when he returned. Jack will need a new partner for that return trip!
What books I packed have very special meaning. Today as I touched each one, I had to stop and read a few pages. Many of them are autographed by authors we are privileged to know (and a few we don't know!) There's a book about reconciliation by Harvey Thomas. HC loved to be with Harvey and listen to his stories. (I think they compared stories to see who had the most outrageous experiences.) There are several books by Joyce Martin. One of my favorites is about the mission work in the coal mines of eastern Kentucky. And you know what? Last fall when I arrived in Michigan I needed a flu shot. I made an appointment with the local doctor in town and went to meet him. His name is Dr. John Everett and his grandparents lived in the mountains of eastern Kentucky where he spent many summers. He is a very committed christian and I loaned him the book to read. He loved it! Another favorite of mine is Walking with Moses talking with God by Cinda King. I can hold the book in my hands and sense Cinda's sweet spirit. There's a wonderful book of poetry about the beautiful things of life by Holly Collins. Reading her words warms your heart. Have you read A Pearl in the Storm by Tori Murden McClure? Tori is the first woman to ROW across the Atlantic Ocean and now she's the president of Spalding University. And one of my very favorites is Crossing Troublesome, a compilation of writings by authors who have attended the Appalachian Writers Workshop in the past 25 years. Lastly I'll mention Christmas Miracles written by somebody I don't know but given to us by Jack and Lou Fox with a "love" note written inside the front cover.
Books are an important part of my life. I have some books I have read repeatedly because they speak to me over and over again. I needed those books today. Not so much the words but the connections. HC was a wonderful writer and soon I will share with you some of his written words. His daily journal entries of his trip to India will touch your heart. Because we are beginning the Advent season, I'll close with one of HC's favorite series of words.
"When we begin to lose hope, we need to know that our friends are holding it for us until we can carry it again ourselves." This is the season of hope isn't it?
Anyway, when he died, I gave away so many of our books. I had read them and thought others would enjoy reading them too. I invited friends to come over and take what they wanted. HC also must have had 30 Bibles. I was so happy to give them to Seyoung and Euisoon Kang for the wonderful work they do in their very special ministry. HC loved them both as well as their son, Dongyon. When Dongyon returned to Korea for his military obligation, HC and Jack Fox took him to the airport for his departure. They promised they would pick him up when he returned. Jack will need a new partner for that return trip!
What books I packed have very special meaning. Today as I touched each one, I had to stop and read a few pages. Many of them are autographed by authors we are privileged to know (and a few we don't know!) There's a book about reconciliation by Harvey Thomas. HC loved to be with Harvey and listen to his stories. (I think they compared stories to see who had the most outrageous experiences.) There are several books by Joyce Martin. One of my favorites is about the mission work in the coal mines of eastern Kentucky. And you know what? Last fall when I arrived in Michigan I needed a flu shot. I made an appointment with the local doctor in town and went to meet him. His name is Dr. John Everett and his grandparents lived in the mountains of eastern Kentucky where he spent many summers. He is a very committed christian and I loaned him the book to read. He loved it! Another favorite of mine is Walking with Moses talking with God by Cinda King. I can hold the book in my hands and sense Cinda's sweet spirit. There's a wonderful book of poetry about the beautiful things of life by Holly Collins. Reading her words warms your heart. Have you read A Pearl in the Storm by Tori Murden McClure? Tori is the first woman to ROW across the Atlantic Ocean and now she's the president of Spalding University. And one of my very favorites is Crossing Troublesome, a compilation of writings by authors who have attended the Appalachian Writers Workshop in the past 25 years. Lastly I'll mention Christmas Miracles written by somebody I don't know but given to us by Jack and Lou Fox with a "love" note written inside the front cover.
Books are an important part of my life. I have some books I have read repeatedly because they speak to me over and over again. I needed those books today. Not so much the words but the connections. HC was a wonderful writer and soon I will share with you some of his written words. His daily journal entries of his trip to India will touch your heart. Because we are beginning the Advent season, I'll close with one of HC's favorite series of words.
"When we begin to lose hope, we need to know that our friends are holding it for us until we can carry it again ourselves." This is the season of hope isn't it?
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Life is Funny!
2011
Left Saturday morning with Emily and Gracie headed for Grand Rapids to see the Grand Rapids Ballet perform the Nutcracker. (I've never been to Grand Rapids but when Emily was at Hope College in Holland, Michigan, she would fly in and out of "GR" for holiday visits home.) Emily decided we should spend the night just to be on the safe side in case of snow! I left Topinabee just excited to spend the time with Emily and Gracie. It's about a 3 hour drive and it passed quickly with entertainment provided by Gracie.
We were on an interstate about 2 miles north of downtown when I saw it. Oh my gosh, it's a building taller than 2 stories!!!!! I had forgotten what a big city (and it's not really all that big) downtown looked like. There are several buildings that have over 10 stories! WOW! I see taxis, city buses, and more cars at one time than I've seen in months! Wait...we're pulling up to a hotel and there's valet parking with attendants dressed in uniforms and doormen!!!! They take our car and direct us to the Front Desk! I see 4 uniformed people smiling and welcoming guests. We are told our room is on the 19th floor! The 19th floor!! We quickly see our room, freshen up and walk (indoors) to the performance hall. This hotel is connected to everything downtown with walkways. We're in our seats reviewing the program. This entire Grand Rapids Ballet season is dedicated to one of their most beloved devotees, Betty Ford (I remembered she was a dancer). The symphony orchestra is in the pit, the conductor appears, the overture begins and we are whisked away to Clara's home and our first sight of the nutcracker. What a beautiful performance. We enjoy every moment.
We walk back to our hotel to really check out our room. We are overlooking a river and just below us there is a pedestrian walkway across the bridge that leads directly into the Gerald Ford Presidential Museum. We must come back next summer and sightsee! Right now we need to decide what to do for dinner. There are several restaurants in the hotel and we choose the one on the 27th floor with a view of the greater Grand Rapids area. It is beautiful, the service excellent and the food delicious. We had a relaxing evening and a restful night. This morning we headed back to Topinabee and our "real" lives! (Emily and I made a conscious decision to NOT go to the mall. I'm not sure my heart would have survived!!)
Life is funny, isn't it? I was so used to seeing "big cities" and all they provided, but if you don't have those surroundings your life fills with so many other wonderful things. Yes, I realized I missed some of those things, but I also realized I didn't need those things. I have a loving family close and far away, the best friends in the world close and far away, and a new life filled with new things close and far away. That "life is funny" thing is what keeps us enjoying life. I'll enjoy mine if you promise to enjoy yours...no matter what!
Left Saturday morning with Emily and Gracie headed for Grand Rapids to see the Grand Rapids Ballet perform the Nutcracker. (I've never been to Grand Rapids but when Emily was at Hope College in Holland, Michigan, she would fly in and out of "GR" for holiday visits home.) Emily decided we should spend the night just to be on the safe side in case of snow! I left Topinabee just excited to spend the time with Emily and Gracie. It's about a 3 hour drive and it passed quickly with entertainment provided by Gracie.
We were on an interstate about 2 miles north of downtown when I saw it. Oh my gosh, it's a building taller than 2 stories!!!!! I had forgotten what a big city (and it's not really all that big) downtown looked like. There are several buildings that have over 10 stories! WOW! I see taxis, city buses, and more cars at one time than I've seen in months! Wait...we're pulling up to a hotel and there's valet parking with attendants dressed in uniforms and doormen!!!! They take our car and direct us to the Front Desk! I see 4 uniformed people smiling and welcoming guests. We are told our room is on the 19th floor! The 19th floor!! We quickly see our room, freshen up and walk (indoors) to the performance hall. This hotel is connected to everything downtown with walkways. We're in our seats reviewing the program. This entire Grand Rapids Ballet season is dedicated to one of their most beloved devotees, Betty Ford (I remembered she was a dancer). The symphony orchestra is in the pit, the conductor appears, the overture begins and we are whisked away to Clara's home and our first sight of the nutcracker. What a beautiful performance. We enjoy every moment.
We walk back to our hotel to really check out our room. We are overlooking a river and just below us there is a pedestrian walkway across the bridge that leads directly into the Gerald Ford Presidential Museum. We must come back next summer and sightsee! Right now we need to decide what to do for dinner. There are several restaurants in the hotel and we choose the one on the 27th floor with a view of the greater Grand Rapids area. It is beautiful, the service excellent and the food delicious. We had a relaxing evening and a restful night. This morning we headed back to Topinabee and our "real" lives! (Emily and I made a conscious decision to NOT go to the mall. I'm not sure my heart would have survived!!)
Life is funny, isn't it? I was so used to seeing "big cities" and all they provided, but if you don't have those surroundings your life fills with so many other wonderful things. Yes, I realized I missed some of those things, but I also realized I didn't need those things. I have a loving family close and far away, the best friends in the world close and far away, and a new life filled with new things close and far away. That "life is funny" thing is what keeps us enjoying life. I'll enjoy mine if you promise to enjoy yours...no matter what!
Friday, November 25, 2011
Old and New Memories!
LAST YEAR 2010
Black Friday (when did it begin to be called that?) I stayed quiet most of the day. I was sad and having a personal pity party. I knew I had to go out in the evening and quite honestly dreaded it.
I wanted to stay in bed, covers over my head, avoiding anything green or red, wishing HC wasn't dead!!!!
Linda and Bill had someplace to be so I could be home by myself. I was trying to think of a good reason to call and decline my invitation for the evening, but I couldn't. So I got out of bed and got ready. Dear, wonderful friends, Jack and Lou, had invited me to meet them at Cafe Lou Lou's at the Loop for dinner and then walk "Bardstown Road Aglow" and see the sights. I was nearly there when it began to snow...a beautiful snow that fell quickly and heavily coating everything. It truly looked like a winter wonderland. I walked into Cafe Lou Lou's and saw lots of happy, smiling faces including Jack and Lou's. I'm so glad I came. We enjoyed our dinner then began our sidewalk tour. It was great to be around so many happy people enjoying the night. We also saw many friends and I especially remember seeing Floyd Bynum. He gave me a huge hug and told me how happy he was to see me. It was probably a small thing to him but meant the world to me. (To throw out a "Cinda" word...SEE?) What a glorious evening I spent with the kind of friends I hope all of you have. I am thankful and I am blessed.
THIS YEAR 2011
I woke up in my own bed in my own home. That's a blessing I'm thankful for right there! If I'm asleep around 7:45am, the sun wakes me up. It shines right in my window as it rises with a fabulous reflection off the lake. This morning was one of those mornings. Delightful! Can't believe I'm going to say this but I woke up hungry (after all I ate yesterday!). So I had left-over sweet potatoes and yeast rolls for breakfast. Delightful! I put away some dishes, wiped up the plywood counters, checked e-mails, had another cup of peach tea and sat down to look at the lake. The sun is shining and it's already 48 degrees outside. Delightful! The phone rings and it's Gracie wanting to know if I'm going to the craft fair (held every year on this day at the Indian River High School) because she wants to go and her Mother does not! I say of course I going. What grandmother wouldn't? She says her Mother will drop her off on her way to the candy store. Delightful! When Gracie arrives so does the electrician to install 2 lights for the second floor hallway and a ceiling fan on my summer breakfast porch. What to do while we wait? Let's put up a Christmas tree!!! For those of you who don't know, I was a ballet dancer for many years a long time ago. So...I have a Christmas tree that is decorated with ballet ornaments and Gracie has only seen it once when she was 2. There are ballet shoes, ballet dancers, ballet costumes, ballet dancing animals, I even have a ballet dancer who is a pickle! One of my favorite things to do is unwrap each ornament, look at it and remember when and where I got it or who gave it to me. Gracie and I got to do that together. Lots of laughing and lots of memories. We did finally get to the craft fair, supported the local small businesses and headed back home. Delightful! We gathered the leftovers, packed them and headed back to Indian River and the candy store to have dinner and watch the Christmas Parade. It's very similar to Macy's parade!!!!! Lot of floats, generally pick-up trucks, the snow mobile trail groomer (Brett is the President of this association), all the fire engines in town (wonder what happens if there's a fire?), one hay wagon with the Inland Lakes Marching Band (maybe 18 kids) playing Jingle Bells, 2 REAL reindeer walking down the street, and the biggest fire engine is last because Santa is riding on the front fender!!!!!!!! All of these floats are decorated with mega amounts of blinking lights and bells and sirens are rung repeatedly. Note: Santa usually arrives in a dog sled but exceptions were made today because the high today was 51 and there is no snow! I should also tell you the parade route is the state highway that runs right through town and it's blocked off at both ends of town. Ya' just gotta' love it! Delightful!
I'm back home now looking at the Christmas tree Gracie and I decorated. Tomorrow morning Emily, Gracie and I will leave for Grand Rapids to see the Nutcracker. We'll spend the night and return home Sunday morning. Delightful!
My heart is still tender and I'm still sad that HC is not with me, but I'm making progress. And I'm drawn to one of my favorite Bible verses - Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Amen to that Baby! I am thankful and I am blessed! Delightful!
Black Friday (when did it begin to be called that?) I stayed quiet most of the day. I was sad and having a personal pity party. I knew I had to go out in the evening and quite honestly dreaded it.
I wanted to stay in bed, covers over my head, avoiding anything green or red, wishing HC wasn't dead!!!!
Linda and Bill had someplace to be so I could be home by myself. I was trying to think of a good reason to call and decline my invitation for the evening, but I couldn't. So I got out of bed and got ready. Dear, wonderful friends, Jack and Lou, had invited me to meet them at Cafe Lou Lou's at the Loop for dinner and then walk "Bardstown Road Aglow" and see the sights. I was nearly there when it began to snow...a beautiful snow that fell quickly and heavily coating everything. It truly looked like a winter wonderland. I walked into Cafe Lou Lou's and saw lots of happy, smiling faces including Jack and Lou's. I'm so glad I came. We enjoyed our dinner then began our sidewalk tour. It was great to be around so many happy people enjoying the night. We also saw many friends and I especially remember seeing Floyd Bynum. He gave me a huge hug and told me how happy he was to see me. It was probably a small thing to him but meant the world to me. (To throw out a "Cinda" word...SEE?) What a glorious evening I spent with the kind of friends I hope all of you have. I am thankful and I am blessed.
THIS YEAR 2011
I woke up in my own bed in my own home. That's a blessing I'm thankful for right there! If I'm asleep around 7:45am, the sun wakes me up. It shines right in my window as it rises with a fabulous reflection off the lake. This morning was one of those mornings. Delightful! Can't believe I'm going to say this but I woke up hungry (after all I ate yesterday!). So I had left-over sweet potatoes and yeast rolls for breakfast. Delightful! I put away some dishes, wiped up the plywood counters, checked e-mails, had another cup of peach tea and sat down to look at the lake. The sun is shining and it's already 48 degrees outside. Delightful! The phone rings and it's Gracie wanting to know if I'm going to the craft fair (held every year on this day at the Indian River High School) because she wants to go and her Mother does not! I say of course I going. What grandmother wouldn't? She says her Mother will drop her off on her way to the candy store. Delightful! When Gracie arrives so does the electrician to install 2 lights for the second floor hallway and a ceiling fan on my summer breakfast porch. What to do while we wait? Let's put up a Christmas tree!!! For those of you who don't know, I was a ballet dancer for many years a long time ago. So...I have a Christmas tree that is decorated with ballet ornaments and Gracie has only seen it once when she was 2. There are ballet shoes, ballet dancers, ballet costumes, ballet dancing animals, I even have a ballet dancer who is a pickle! One of my favorite things to do is unwrap each ornament, look at it and remember when and where I got it or who gave it to me. Gracie and I got to do that together. Lots of laughing and lots of memories. We did finally get to the craft fair, supported the local small businesses and headed back home. Delightful! We gathered the leftovers, packed them and headed back to Indian River and the candy store to have dinner and watch the Christmas Parade. It's very similar to Macy's parade!!!!! Lot of floats, generally pick-up trucks, the snow mobile trail groomer (Brett is the President of this association), all the fire engines in town (wonder what happens if there's a fire?), one hay wagon with the Inland Lakes Marching Band (maybe 18 kids) playing Jingle Bells, 2 REAL reindeer walking down the street, and the biggest fire engine is last because Santa is riding on the front fender!!!!!!!! All of these floats are decorated with mega amounts of blinking lights and bells and sirens are rung repeatedly. Note: Santa usually arrives in a dog sled but exceptions were made today because the high today was 51 and there is no snow! I should also tell you the parade route is the state highway that runs right through town and it's blocked off at both ends of town. Ya' just gotta' love it! Delightful!
I'm back home now looking at the Christmas tree Gracie and I decorated. Tomorrow morning Emily, Gracie and I will leave for Grand Rapids to see the Nutcracker. We'll spend the night and return home Sunday morning. Delightful!
My heart is still tender and I'm still sad that HC is not with me, but I'm making progress. And I'm drawn to one of my favorite Bible verses - Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Amen to that Baby! I am thankful and I am blessed! Delightful!
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Thanksgiving 2011
I'll start with yesterday!
No counter tops so they put plywood over the cabinets!
Stove arrived at 3:30pm!
No carpet runner on stairs to 2nd floor!
Trim on 1st floor (crown molding, chair rail, baseboards) apparently on the moon!
The stove was placed too far to the right and I can't get the dishwasher door open (now that's trouble)!
And I cannot find my dining room table pads.
My plan was to use my antique lace tablecloth, fine china, crystal, and sterling for the first holiday meal in the new home. No table pads so a definite change of plan is needed. I went to WalMart last night at 8:30pm to buy place mats. It was the only store open and it's in the next town. Have you ever tried to find an elegant and contemporary looking place mat at WalMart? Yes, that was a real question! Well, I found a black round flat straw mat that would work IF I changed my fine china to white square plates and used red linen napkins (no crystal or sterling either). Got home only to discover I didn't have the place mats with me. Because of the crowd and only one lane open (been there?), I did the self check-out thing. Apparently I wouldn't make a very good "checker-outter". I got back in the car and returned to find my place mats! Went immediately to "Customer Service" (can't believe they can even spell the words let alone post them in huge letters for all to see)! One person is working at that counter and she is very busy (no doubt on a personal phone call)! She does not even look at me which is strange because I'm sure flames are coming out of my mouth as I repeat over and over...I am thankful, I am thankful, I am thankful...!!!! Finally she asks if I need any help? I said, "No, I'm just standing here watching the minute hand on the clock and wondering how it's possible that WalMart employs every incompetent person in the world." I point to a bag behind her and tell her those are my place mats and here is my receipt to prove I purchased them. She takes a quick look and shoves the bag at me. I am thankful, I am thankful, I am thankful...! Back home I set the table (it looks fabulous) and start the turkey process.
Now here's where it gets interesting. I am admitting to all of you at the same time, I have NEVER cooked a turkey before. HC always cooked our turkeys. (I'll also jump a little ahead in the story to tell you I've never made gravy either. Never, no kind!) But hey...I'm 64 years old. How difficult can this be? TR Baker and I talked Sunday night about the turkey. The internet said to put the "bird" in the refrigerator to thaw for several days. By Wednesday night he was thawed! How to cook? Internet again but fortunately one of the painters at the house had shared with me he uses a cooking bag. I bought a cooking bag. The instructions on the turkey wrapping said my size turkey would need to cook 6-7 hours. The cooking bag said my size turkey would need to cook 3-4 hours. That's a big difference. I decide to put it in the oven at 12:30am, set the alarm for 4:30am and check it out. I can do this! First I have to get the turkey in the bag. My painter also told me to be sure and check the inside of the bird for neck and organs. What????? I put on plastic gloves and reach into the chest cavity and grab a neck!!!! Then on to the other end where I find some stuff in a paper bag and a ton of fat, just chunks of fat. Am I awake???? This is disgusting! OK, got him in the bag and in the oven. The alarm wakes me at 4:30am and when I check the bird, it looks beautiful! That little pop out thing has popped out and the top is a beautiful golden brown. I did it!!!! Back to bed for a little bit.
I have everything just about ready. Mashed potatoes, dressing, green beans, sweet potatoes, yeast rolls, pies, salad, but something's missing. GRAVY!!!! I quickly call daughter Libby. I also spoke with her last night about cooking the turkey and she had no idea I had never cooked a turkey. She gave me several wonderful suggestions. Now I really needed her help. She says it's easy. (Right!) She talks about the drippings (??) and cornstarch, cold water and wisking, wisking, wisking. She's also upset because she cannot find the fish apron. She's got the fish potholder but cannot find the apron!!!! I tell her to get the kids to find the apron and she tells me I can make gravy, and I did!
We are ready to sit down. Emily, Brett, Garrett, Gracie, Claudia (works at the candy store and recently lost her husband), TR and me. It's Thanksgiving and we all have much to be thankful for. Family, friends, good food to eat, a warm house, and God to guide us. Throughout the day I kept running into HC Baker. He was the turkey, he was the gravy, he was the pumpkin pie, he was Garrett wanting to eat in front of the TV to watch a football game, he was Gracie sneaking candy out of my grandmother's candy dish, he was with all of us laughing and enjoying the day. Hope you enjoyed yours! xxoo
No counter tops so they put plywood over the cabinets!
Stove arrived at 3:30pm!
No carpet runner on stairs to 2nd floor!
Trim on 1st floor (crown molding, chair rail, baseboards) apparently on the moon!
The stove was placed too far to the right and I can't get the dishwasher door open (now that's trouble)!
And I cannot find my dining room table pads.
My plan was to use my antique lace tablecloth, fine china, crystal, and sterling for the first holiday meal in the new home. No table pads so a definite change of plan is needed. I went to WalMart last night at 8:30pm to buy place mats. It was the only store open and it's in the next town. Have you ever tried to find an elegant and contemporary looking place mat at WalMart? Yes, that was a real question! Well, I found a black round flat straw mat that would work IF I changed my fine china to white square plates and used red linen napkins (no crystal or sterling either). Got home only to discover I didn't have the place mats with me. Because of the crowd and only one lane open (been there?), I did the self check-out thing. Apparently I wouldn't make a very good "checker-outter". I got back in the car and returned to find my place mats! Went immediately to "Customer Service" (can't believe they can even spell the words let alone post them in huge letters for all to see)! One person is working at that counter and she is very busy (no doubt on a personal phone call)! She does not even look at me which is strange because I'm sure flames are coming out of my mouth as I repeat over and over...I am thankful, I am thankful, I am thankful...!!!! Finally she asks if I need any help? I said, "No, I'm just standing here watching the minute hand on the clock and wondering how it's possible that WalMart employs every incompetent person in the world." I point to a bag behind her and tell her those are my place mats and here is my receipt to prove I purchased them. She takes a quick look and shoves the bag at me. I am thankful, I am thankful, I am thankful...! Back home I set the table (it looks fabulous) and start the turkey process.
Now here's where it gets interesting. I am admitting to all of you at the same time, I have NEVER cooked a turkey before. HC always cooked our turkeys. (I'll also jump a little ahead in the story to tell you I've never made gravy either. Never, no kind!) But hey...I'm 64 years old. How difficult can this be? TR Baker and I talked Sunday night about the turkey. The internet said to put the "bird" in the refrigerator to thaw for several days. By Wednesday night he was thawed! How to cook? Internet again but fortunately one of the painters at the house had shared with me he uses a cooking bag. I bought a cooking bag. The instructions on the turkey wrapping said my size turkey would need to cook 6-7 hours. The cooking bag said my size turkey would need to cook 3-4 hours. That's a big difference. I decide to put it in the oven at 12:30am, set the alarm for 4:30am and check it out. I can do this! First I have to get the turkey in the bag. My painter also told me to be sure and check the inside of the bird for neck and organs. What????? I put on plastic gloves and reach into the chest cavity and grab a neck!!!! Then on to the other end where I find some stuff in a paper bag and a ton of fat, just chunks of fat. Am I awake???? This is disgusting! OK, got him in the bag and in the oven. The alarm wakes me at 4:30am and when I check the bird, it looks beautiful! That little pop out thing has popped out and the top is a beautiful golden brown. I did it!!!! Back to bed for a little bit.
I have everything just about ready. Mashed potatoes, dressing, green beans, sweet potatoes, yeast rolls, pies, salad, but something's missing. GRAVY!!!! I quickly call daughter Libby. I also spoke with her last night about cooking the turkey and she had no idea I had never cooked a turkey. She gave me several wonderful suggestions. Now I really needed her help. She says it's easy. (Right!) She talks about the drippings (??) and cornstarch, cold water and wisking, wisking, wisking. She's also upset because she cannot find the fish apron. She's got the fish potholder but cannot find the apron!!!! I tell her to get the kids to find the apron and she tells me I can make gravy, and I did!
We are ready to sit down. Emily, Brett, Garrett, Gracie, Claudia (works at the candy store and recently lost her husband), TR and me. It's Thanksgiving and we all have much to be thankful for. Family, friends, good food to eat, a warm house, and God to guide us. Throughout the day I kept running into HC Baker. He was the turkey, he was the gravy, he was the pumpkin pie, he was Garrett wanting to eat in front of the TV to watch a football game, he was Gracie sneaking candy out of my grandmother's candy dish, he was with all of us laughing and enjoying the day. Hope you enjoyed yours! xxoo
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Don't Laugh 'Til We're Back in the Car!
It makes no difference what day it is, how long HC Baker has been dead or what holiday is just around the corner. No matter how you look at it, our family has had a few hurdles to jump in the past few months. Of course HC's death was a shock, but my sister Linda being diagnosed with cancer also hit us very hard. The chemo was working and she and I would try and do something outside the house every day. We'd pick up our sister Mary and got out to lunch. And you didn't have to ask any of us twice to go shopping!
Linda and I fell into a routine we loved. When out and about and we really needed something, we'd tell the "helper" in a hushed tone, "My husband just died" or "I have cancer"! The first time we tried this we needed a new chain on a chain saw. My grandson Daniel was coming to Linda's to cut down a tree. She said it needed a new chain and I was just the driver, so off we went. We went into one of those big box stores (un-named but it wasn't the orange one - I hate them and one day when I have nothing else to write, I'll tell you why!) In that kind of store we don't look around. We walk in and ask where to find what we need. We were directed to the aisle and did find a man there who took us right to the item. He looked at us and said "You won't have any trouble changing the chain." (Whoa Baby!) Linda (with very little hair left on her head) and I looked at each other knowing full well we were not going to be the ones to replace the chain. I turned to the man and said "my husband just died and would you fix this for us?" He looked at both of us and said "of course". It worked. Several days later we decided we needed a deep freeze in Linda's garage. The main reason for this need was Linda just had too much frozen food in her kitchen freezer. Back to the big box store (a different location) and we find the freezer we want. The man tells us he'd put it on a 4-wheel dolly and we could push it to the front, pay for it, and roll it out to our car. (Right!) This time Linda (with very little hair left on her head) stepped up to the plate and said "I have cancer. Can you do roll it out to our car for us?" He looked at both of us and said "of course". We've got this down!
The next week after a "3 sisters lunch", we decided to go to a local discount store for some additional mulch. Mary is with us and we have not informed her of our little one-act play. We go into the garden department of the store and tell the person in charge of mulch we want 20 bags. To make it more convenient for us, he says to pull our car up to the exterior garden entrance to load. Once again Linda (with even less hair on her head) says "I have cancer. Can you load it for us?" Mary says "Oh for heaven's sake. I can load it." And she did! This time when we all got into the car and pulled away, Linda and I told her she had just ruined our routine! We explained what we did and she told both of us we should be ashamed of ourselves! Then Linda and I laughed!
Moral of this story - Don't take Mary shopping with us anymore!!!
Monday, November 21, 2011
Thanksgiving 2010
In the past 17 months I have grown to hate the "first's" special days that have followed HC Baker's death. I've experienced our first wedding anniversary alone and am about to face the first Thanksgiving alone.
I left our cottage in northern Michigan and returned to Louisville at the first of November. I've had 3 weeks to prepare for this but now know I am totally unprepared. As it turns out, my sister Mary's friend Seamus has experienced a tragedy in his family. His youngest brother has died and Mary and Seamus are going to Ireland for his funeral. The time frame for this will include the Thanksgiving holiday. Mary and Seamus have a beautiful golden retriever named Molly and she needs someone to be with her during their absence. I will stay at Mary's and keep Molly company. I have a purpose! Isn't that what we all want...to be needed? OK, I now have something to keep me focused so I just need to get through the Thanksgiving day.
Our daughter Libby has decided she will cook Thanksgiving dinner. She is a wonderful cook and will prepare all the family's favorites. Thanksgiving Day arrives and I just cannot go to church. Last year is too fresh in my memory. My sister Linda and her husband Bill come by to pick me up and head to Libby's. (Remember, Libby has 4 children, always an assortment of dogs, and who knows how many kids' friends.) True to Libby's form, she is cooking enough food for a small army with every burner on the stove on high and 6 beautiful pies sitting on the washer and dryer (away from the dogs!). She is wearing one of her father's aprons. It's the one that makes her look like she is dressed to fish and in the middle of the front, there is a "velcroed" oven mitt shaped like a fish! I help set the table and make sure everyone will have a chair. The kids start dragging the extra chairs in from all the other rooms in their home. It's so "family", don't you think?
Dinner is ready and smells heavenly. Unknown to me, Libby already decided and asked Adam (her youngest) to say the blessing. Ever since Adam was 2 years old, he has been the most beautiful, sweetest 'pray-er". Today his words are simple and touch all of our tender hearts. Lots of sniffles as he says "amen".
Dig in! There is everything! Of course there's turkey with gravy, mashed potatoes, and corn bread stuffing, but add to that green beans, corn pudding, one of those cool whip salads, tossed salad, macaroni and cheese, baked sweet potatoes with toasted marshmallows, and buttery rolls. Oh my gosh! Everyone is eating, laughing, talking, passing food, Libby is jumping up from the table for something she forgot, knees are touching under the table, smiling eyes are meeting over the food, and everyone is loving each other. I hope this sounds like the Thanksgiving each of you experiences because it's a very special feeling...one of love.
I made it through the day and returned to spend the evening with Molly. We were thankful for each other.
11/21/11 - TODAY'S NOTE: In February, 2011, Molly was diagnosed with cancer. She had 2 surgeries and 8 chemo treatments. She seemed to be doing well so Mary and Seamus planned another trip to Ireland for the first anniversary of Seamus' brother's death. Molly was staying with a dear friend of Mary's and on Friday morning the friend called my sister Linda and said Molly wasn't doing well at all. Linda went to get her and take her to her vet. With great sadness in my heart, I must tell you Molly died Friday, November 18, 2011, with her head in Linda's lap. Like all of you, we are mourning the loss of Molly. And please say a prayer for Mary. She wasn't with Molly at the end so her heart is doubly broken.
I'm thankful for all of you.
I left our cottage in northern Michigan and returned to Louisville at the first of November. I've had 3 weeks to prepare for this but now know I am totally unprepared. As it turns out, my sister Mary's friend Seamus has experienced a tragedy in his family. His youngest brother has died and Mary and Seamus are going to Ireland for his funeral. The time frame for this will include the Thanksgiving holiday. Mary and Seamus have a beautiful golden retriever named Molly and she needs someone to be with her during their absence. I will stay at Mary's and keep Molly company. I have a purpose! Isn't that what we all want...to be needed? OK, I now have something to keep me focused so I just need to get through the Thanksgiving day.
Our daughter Libby has decided she will cook Thanksgiving dinner. She is a wonderful cook and will prepare all the family's favorites. Thanksgiving Day arrives and I just cannot go to church. Last year is too fresh in my memory. My sister Linda and her husband Bill come by to pick me up and head to Libby's. (Remember, Libby has 4 children, always an assortment of dogs, and who knows how many kids' friends.) True to Libby's form, she is cooking enough food for a small army with every burner on the stove on high and 6 beautiful pies sitting on the washer and dryer (away from the dogs!). She is wearing one of her father's aprons. It's the one that makes her look like she is dressed to fish and in the middle of the front, there is a "velcroed" oven mitt shaped like a fish! I help set the table and make sure everyone will have a chair. The kids start dragging the extra chairs in from all the other rooms in their home. It's so "family", don't you think?
Dinner is ready and smells heavenly. Unknown to me, Libby already decided and asked Adam (her youngest) to say the blessing. Ever since Adam was 2 years old, he has been the most beautiful, sweetest 'pray-er". Today his words are simple and touch all of our tender hearts. Lots of sniffles as he says "amen".
Dig in! There is everything! Of course there's turkey with gravy, mashed potatoes, and corn bread stuffing, but add to that green beans, corn pudding, one of those cool whip salads, tossed salad, macaroni and cheese, baked sweet potatoes with toasted marshmallows, and buttery rolls. Oh my gosh! Everyone is eating, laughing, talking, passing food, Libby is jumping up from the table for something she forgot, knees are touching under the table, smiling eyes are meeting over the food, and everyone is loving each other. I hope this sounds like the Thanksgiving each of you experiences because it's a very special feeling...one of love.
I made it through the day and returned to spend the evening with Molly. We were thankful for each other.
11/21/11 - TODAY'S NOTE: In February, 2011, Molly was diagnosed with cancer. She had 2 surgeries and 8 chemo treatments. She seemed to be doing well so Mary and Seamus planned another trip to Ireland for the first anniversary of Seamus' brother's death. Molly was staying with a dear friend of Mary's and on Friday morning the friend called my sister Linda and said Molly wasn't doing well at all. Linda went to get her and take her to her vet. With great sadness in my heart, I must tell you Molly died Friday, November 18, 2011, with her head in Linda's lap. Like all of you, we are mourning the loss of Molly. And please say a prayer for Mary. She wasn't with Molly at the end so her heart is doubly broken.
I'm thankful for all of you.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Memories
Today - November 19, 2011
I have spent the day unpacking my household goods that have been stored since August, 2010. What a day! My new (to me) house is 85% complete so I have started to put things in order. I also plan to cook Thanksgiving dinner so I needed to get organized. I only have a few problems - stove is on back-order, microwave came dented and was sent back, and...I HAVE NO COUNTER TOPS!!!! Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday should be interesting!
Back to unpacking. I would open a box and the first thing I would unwrap would give me a clue as to what was in the box. It's been very emotional. Think of all the things you have around you all the time and don't give them a second thought. But when your life changes so many of those things take on a brand new meaning.
HC Baker and I gave each other special books all the time. The only rule we had about that was the giver had to read the book before it was given and any special words or phrases or thoughts had to be hi-lighted. HC hi-lighted with yellow or orange and I hi-lighted with pink or blue. We also wrote a note on the first available page. I found all those books and read what we had written to each other.
HC Baker collected nativities. He would buy them whenever we traveled and each one has its' own memories. Our favorite we bought during a trip to Dallas in 1982. We called it our 365 nativity because we never put it away. It's very small and the backdrop looks like a cave. On the back of the cave is inscribed "May the love that is Christmas be our guiding star all the days of the year".
Our kitchen dishes - I like to "mix up" my dish patterns. There were a lot of patterns but HC Baker always wanted a particular plate. The same was true of drinking glasses. His was huge (not a pitcher so many of you saw him use at church) but nevertheless a big glass.
HC's Bible - Hi-lighted from Genesis to Revelation! And all his notes. The only challenge is being able to read his writing!
A soapstone Christ HC brought back from Brazil. That was such a wonderful trip for him. He loved every moment.
A carved wooden elephant he brought back from India. That was an incredible experience for him. I believe his heart was changed forever (emotionally speaking, not medically!).
A Canadian Honker baseball cap. The Canadian Honker was a restaurant across the street from the Mayo Clinic. I ate there a lot. The first time Jack and Lou Fox came to be with us at Mayo we went there. I thought the name was funny because the first time I saw it I thought it was called the Canadian Hooker!!!!! Anyway, Jack and Lou gave HC the hat for Christmas in 2009. Though he had never been there, he could see it out of the window in some of the rooms where he stayed.
Everything in your home has a story. All of them are precious and have made you who you are. I know this for a fact.
I have spent the day unpacking my household goods that have been stored since August, 2010. What a day! My new (to me) house is 85% complete so I have started to put things in order. I also plan to cook Thanksgiving dinner so I needed to get organized. I only have a few problems - stove is on back-order, microwave came dented and was sent back, and...I HAVE NO COUNTER TOPS!!!! Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday should be interesting!
Back to unpacking. I would open a box and the first thing I would unwrap would give me a clue as to what was in the box. It's been very emotional. Think of all the things you have around you all the time and don't give them a second thought. But when your life changes so many of those things take on a brand new meaning.
HC Baker and I gave each other special books all the time. The only rule we had about that was the giver had to read the book before it was given and any special words or phrases or thoughts had to be hi-lighted. HC hi-lighted with yellow or orange and I hi-lighted with pink or blue. We also wrote a note on the first available page. I found all those books and read what we had written to each other.
HC Baker collected nativities. He would buy them whenever we traveled and each one has its' own memories. Our favorite we bought during a trip to Dallas in 1982. We called it our 365 nativity because we never put it away. It's very small and the backdrop looks like a cave. On the back of the cave is inscribed "May the love that is Christmas be our guiding star all the days of the year".
Our kitchen dishes - I like to "mix up" my dish patterns. There were a lot of patterns but HC Baker always wanted a particular plate. The same was true of drinking glasses. His was huge (not a pitcher so many of you saw him use at church) but nevertheless a big glass.
HC's Bible - Hi-lighted from Genesis to Revelation! And all his notes. The only challenge is being able to read his writing!
A soapstone Christ HC brought back from Brazil. That was such a wonderful trip for him. He loved every moment.
A carved wooden elephant he brought back from India. That was an incredible experience for him. I believe his heart was changed forever (emotionally speaking, not medically!).
A Canadian Honker baseball cap. The Canadian Honker was a restaurant across the street from the Mayo Clinic. I ate there a lot. The first time Jack and Lou Fox came to be with us at Mayo we went there. I thought the name was funny because the first time I saw it I thought it was called the Canadian Hooker!!!!! Anyway, Jack and Lou gave HC the hat for Christmas in 2009. Though he had never been there, he could see it out of the window in some of the rooms where he stayed.
Everything in your home has a story. All of them are precious and have made you who you are. I know this for a fact.
Friday, November 18, 2011
Thanksgiving 2009
At this time in 2009 HC Baker and I were home from a month-long stay at the Mayo Clinic. In past years HC always prepared a huge Thanksgiving dinner for our family. Our family often included 100+ people we had never seen before. That was HC Baker. This year was going to be different. I spoke with my sisters and we all decided we would eat out! It took some getting used to but we all finally got comfortable with the idea. None of us would have to clean our home, go to the grocery store and exhaust ourselves getting ready for guests.
As always, HC and I decided we would go to the Thanksgiving service at church in the morning. We definitely had much to be thankful for. I came home from work one evening and HC said guess what? I hate these kinds of games so I said just tell me. He said HE was going to be the speaker for the Thanksgiving service. Dear Tim Galyon had called and said the staff decided HC Baker had the most to be thankful for and would he share his story during the service. Of course he said yes. So we began the discussions of what he would say. He had a very different recollection of the journey than I did and I am so glad.
HC's recovery was going to be a very long journey. We were both absolutely thrilled to be home but we also knew the road ahead was very long. HC's strength was the big issue. He didn't have any. And for a guy who never stopped moving and doing, that was a problem. He was frustrated and working hard to conceal it. So this speaking engagement was a wonderful distraction for him.
Never one to write down what he would say, he would put all the ideas into his head and come out talking. The only thing he asked me to do for him was to keep time. Tim gave him 20-25 minutes. Most people would think this was enough but I knew HC Baker and trust me, he could talk for days. (One of the things we had in common!)
Well, we made it through. I had to signal him 3 different times to "shut-up" (I knew it!) before he finally came to a close. I know I had a hard time listening to his telling of the events. Quite honestly, I'm not sure how either one of us survived a few of those days. The one thing HC always said...No matter what happens, it is well with my soul. It was a good Thanksgiving morning and all of us indeed had much to be thankful for.
As always, HC and I decided we would go to the Thanksgiving service at church in the morning. We definitely had much to be thankful for. I came home from work one evening and HC said guess what? I hate these kinds of games so I said just tell me. He said HE was going to be the speaker for the Thanksgiving service. Dear Tim Galyon had called and said the staff decided HC Baker had the most to be thankful for and would he share his story during the service. Of course he said yes. So we began the discussions of what he would say. He had a very different recollection of the journey than I did and I am so glad.
HC's recovery was going to be a very long journey. We were both absolutely thrilled to be home but we also knew the road ahead was very long. HC's strength was the big issue. He didn't have any. And for a guy who never stopped moving and doing, that was a problem. He was frustrated and working hard to conceal it. So this speaking engagement was a wonderful distraction for him.
Never one to write down what he would say, he would put all the ideas into his head and come out talking. The only thing he asked me to do for him was to keep time. Tim gave him 20-25 minutes. Most people would think this was enough but I knew HC Baker and trust me, he could talk for days. (One of the things we had in common!)
Well, we made it through. I had to signal him 3 different times to "shut-up" (I knew it!) before he finally came to a close. I know I had a hard time listening to his telling of the events. Quite honestly, I'm not sure how either one of us survived a few of those days. The one thing HC always said...No matter what happens, it is well with my soul. It was a good Thanksgiving morning and all of us indeed had much to be thankful for.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Trip to the Grocery Store!
Here's the deal. I'd never done the money stuff, didn't do the outdoor stuff, and now I'll tell you I didn't go the grocery store stuff either! After yesterday's writing, I was reminded of the first and second time I went to the grocery AHCD (after HC's death).
For the first few weeks after HC Baker died, Emily, Libby and TR did the grocery shopping. They were doing the cooking so they shopped for what they needed. Then they all went home. I was trying to fill the void by looking for anything to do. I decided I would go to the grocery store. I got in the car and drove to the Kroger store at Hubbard's Lane and Westport Road. I walked in the door and got a cart. I didn't have a list. Not a problem. I'll just go up and down the aisles and get some "stuff"! I was looking for things I could prepare for one person. I looked and I looked and I looked. Everything looked like it was for 2 people. Plus, I only saw things HC would like. I began to cry full force. I was standing in front of the canned soups and I couldn't move. Do you know not one person offered to help me? Would you have offered help to a crying stranger in the grocery store? I left the empty cart right there and walked out.
The next morning I told myself this was ridiculous. Everybody goes to the grocery store and I would just have to join that club. Back I went...to the same Kroger and this time I had a list (5 things on it). I wondered if anyone would remember me from last night. Again I'm wandering. I don't even know where stuff is! I feel like it's gonna' happen again, the tears. Some one help me! Around the corner came David King, a wonderful friend from "way" back. David had recently lost his partner, Doug, and he knew exactly what I was feeling. He took one look at me and hugged me with tears in both our eyes. We talked and talked. I shared my experience from the previous evening and he told me the next time I needed to go to the grocery store to call him and he gave me his number. We parted and both of us continued to shop. A few rows later, there was David again. He said I have to tell you something. He told me he hated to go to the grocery store and today he really didn't need anything, but he said the Lord told him to go. And I am so glad he did. He also said seeing and talking to me was as important to him as it was to me. Continually amazed by the works of our Lord. And looking for my Samaritan moment. Hope you find one for yourself.
PS - I don't have any more grocery store problems..except for the high prices!!!! Had no idea!
For the first few weeks after HC Baker died, Emily, Libby and TR did the grocery shopping. They were doing the cooking so they shopped for what they needed. Then they all went home. I was trying to fill the void by looking for anything to do. I decided I would go to the grocery store. I got in the car and drove to the Kroger store at Hubbard's Lane and Westport Road. I walked in the door and got a cart. I didn't have a list. Not a problem. I'll just go up and down the aisles and get some "stuff"! I was looking for things I could prepare for one person. I looked and I looked and I looked. Everything looked like it was for 2 people. Plus, I only saw things HC would like. I began to cry full force. I was standing in front of the canned soups and I couldn't move. Do you know not one person offered to help me? Would you have offered help to a crying stranger in the grocery store? I left the empty cart right there and walked out.
The next morning I told myself this was ridiculous. Everybody goes to the grocery store and I would just have to join that club. Back I went...to the same Kroger and this time I had a list (5 things on it). I wondered if anyone would remember me from last night. Again I'm wandering. I don't even know where stuff is! I feel like it's gonna' happen again, the tears. Some one help me! Around the corner came David King, a wonderful friend from "way" back. David had recently lost his partner, Doug, and he knew exactly what I was feeling. He took one look at me and hugged me with tears in both our eyes. We talked and talked. I shared my experience from the previous evening and he told me the next time I needed to go to the grocery store to call him and he gave me his number. We parted and both of us continued to shop. A few rows later, there was David again. He said I have to tell you something. He told me he hated to go to the grocery store and today he really didn't need anything, but he said the Lord told him to go. And I am so glad he did. He also said seeing and talking to me was as important to him as it was to me. Continually amazed by the works of our Lord. And looking for my Samaritan moment. Hope you find one for yourself.
PS - I don't have any more grocery store problems..except for the high prices!!!! Had no idea!
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
My New Home
I arrived safely in Indian River. I felt I was "home" at the little blue cottage. I'm sorry most of you never saw it because it was so cozy and friendly. It was a collection of recycled, repainted, repurposed furniture and "stuff". It always made me smile.
My first evening was spent with Emily, Brett, Garrett and Gracie and what a wonderful evening it was. There's nothing like children's laughter and hugs and kisses to make you feel better. Now I'm getting ready to go to bed and wonder where I will sleep. I decided the same thing I decided in Louisville. I slept in HC's bed and had the best night's sleep in a long time.
I plan to stay here until November 1. At that time I will return to Louisville to vote (if you don't vote you can't complain) and remain there for Thanksgiving and Christmas returning to Indian River December 26. That much I know I'm doing! Everything between now and then, who knows?
In addition to no previous experience writing checks, going to the bank, paying bills, etc., I also had never worked in the yard. I'm not an outdoor person. I always say I use the out of doors to get from one indoor place to another! I'm the person who when outside is looking for a concrete place to stand. I hate any type of bug, snake, or rodent, no matter how cute or pretty or interesting they are. But here I am and there are leaves to rake...lots of leaves. I know we have rakes but they are in the garage and I'm 100% sure there are spiders in the garage. So, first I have to go to the grocery store and buy bug spray. Once I'm back home, I hold my nose, stick my head in the side door to the garage, and empty the bug spray. I feel better. Rake in hand, I begin the task. After about an hour of raking (with gloves on), Brett pulls in the driveway and asks what I'm doing? DUH??? He goes into the garage, comes out with a leaf blower (who knew?), and in about 15 minutes had all the leaves at the fire pit! Now here's the good part. It's OK to burn leaves in Indian River. Do you know what a wonderful memory the smell of burning leaves is? I pull up a chair next to the fire, close my eyes, and I remember my Dad raking leaves and burning them in our back yard while my sisters and I jumped in the piles. What fun!
My outdoor chores completed (ha! ha!), now comes the hard part. I have to fix dinner for myself. Until I came to Indian River, I had been very fortunate to share meals with family and friends. Oh I know there were times when HC was alive I ate dinner alone but it was a temporary thing. He was out of town, on an appointment, at a meeting, or whatever. Now it was not a temporary thing, it was permanent. What do I fix? When do I eat? Who do I talk to while cooking and eating? I spent the next hour trying to figure out what to do. It sounds so simple...fix dinner. I can't tell you how painful this became. I ended up crying, decided I wasn't hungry and went to bed.
The next morning I realized I needed to make a plan. I used to do this when the children were young and I worked. Make a menu for the week, make a grocery list, buy what's on the list and just DO IT!
Today will be better.
My first evening was spent with Emily, Brett, Garrett and Gracie and what a wonderful evening it was. There's nothing like children's laughter and hugs and kisses to make you feel better. Now I'm getting ready to go to bed and wonder where I will sleep. I decided the same thing I decided in Louisville. I slept in HC's bed and had the best night's sleep in a long time.
I plan to stay here until November 1. At that time I will return to Louisville to vote (if you don't vote you can't complain) and remain there for Thanksgiving and Christmas returning to Indian River December 26. That much I know I'm doing! Everything between now and then, who knows?
In addition to no previous experience writing checks, going to the bank, paying bills, etc., I also had never worked in the yard. I'm not an outdoor person. I always say I use the out of doors to get from one indoor place to another! I'm the person who when outside is looking for a concrete place to stand. I hate any type of bug, snake, or rodent, no matter how cute or pretty or interesting they are. But here I am and there are leaves to rake...lots of leaves. I know we have rakes but they are in the garage and I'm 100% sure there are spiders in the garage. So, first I have to go to the grocery store and buy bug spray. Once I'm back home, I hold my nose, stick my head in the side door to the garage, and empty the bug spray. I feel better. Rake in hand, I begin the task. After about an hour of raking (with gloves on), Brett pulls in the driveway and asks what I'm doing? DUH??? He goes into the garage, comes out with a leaf blower (who knew?), and in about 15 minutes had all the leaves at the fire pit! Now here's the good part. It's OK to burn leaves in Indian River. Do you know what a wonderful memory the smell of burning leaves is? I pull up a chair next to the fire, close my eyes, and I remember my Dad raking leaves and burning them in our back yard while my sisters and I jumped in the piles. What fun!
My outdoor chores completed (ha! ha!), now comes the hard part. I have to fix dinner for myself. Until I came to Indian River, I had been very fortunate to share meals with family and friends. Oh I know there were times when HC was alive I ate dinner alone but it was a temporary thing. He was out of town, on an appointment, at a meeting, or whatever. Now it was not a temporary thing, it was permanent. What do I fix? When do I eat? Who do I talk to while cooking and eating? I spent the next hour trying to figure out what to do. It sounds so simple...fix dinner. I can't tell you how painful this became. I ended up crying, decided I wasn't hungry and went to bed.
The next morning I realized I needed to make a plan. I used to do this when the children were young and I worked. Make a menu for the week, make a grocery list, buy what's on the list and just DO IT!
Today will be better.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
The Drive
Louisville to Indianapolis to Fort Wayne to Lansing to Indian River. And my biggest fear is I have to go by mile marker 262. I have 4 of my super-duper favorite cd's plus a brand new one I should have memorized by the time I arrive. Once I compose myself from the leave-taking, I sing my way to Fort Wayne. I'm trying so hard to NOT focus on the last time I made this trip, but it seemed as if the last 16 months of our lives was written on the windshield.
Close to one year ago, September 14, 2009, HC Baker was at Baptist East Hospital trying to recover from open heart surgery that replaced his mitral heart valve. It wasn't going well. Lots and lots of doctors, lots and lots of tests and very serious discussions between HC and me. We didn't understand what was happening or not happening. The heart surgeon came into HC's room and told us he would suggest going somewhere else for treatment as he had done all he could. He recommended Mayo, a hospital in Toronto, and Cleveland Clinic. We asked about other doctors/hospitals in Louisville but he said no one could do this locally. He said HC was suffering from hemolysis meaning in very simple terms, as his blood raced through his brand new, titanium mitral valve, because it wasn't working properly some of the blood ran back the other/opposite/wrong way. In other words, the surgery didn't work. HC and I were speechless. What do you say to that? He told us to think about it, let him know our decision, and he would make the arrangements, then he left. The rest of that day we could hardly speak to each other let alone anyone else.
That night at home, I "googled" hemolysis and the first response was from the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota. I read that and kept reading nearly all night. I printed much of it so I could share it with HC. The next morning HC and I discussed it, and we asked every doctor who came through the door. Now keep in mind, HC does not make quick decisions but this one was going to have to be made sooner rather than later. Based on my research (like I knew what I was doing), Mayo was pioneering a few procedures that were less invasive than another open heart. I called the hospital and spoke with the heart "service" about this. Their easy, friendly, concerned attitudes made me feel comfortable and I shared that with HC. With all our information, we decided to go to Mayo in Minnesota. You know, all your life you hear about the Mayo Clinic and now we were going there. We had lots of questions - one being would I drive him there? NO, he is too ill and needs to be there as quickly as the arrangements can be made. So????? We would be air-ambulanced. (I know this is over 2 years ago, but for any of you who may have a similar experience, and I pray you never have anything even remotely similar, I am getting ready to make a huge error in judgment. Listen closely.) You husband is incredibly ill. He is now on kidney dialysis and receiving blood transfusions. The hospital social worker comes in to talk to you about the air-ambulance trip. She says she needs my credit card because the air fare (for HC and me on this plane) must be paid in advance. There's never a problem. They would submit it to my insurance and they would reimburse us. The charge on my card would be $10,842. Remember, the heart surgeon has told us we need to go elsewhere, my husband's prognosis is not good, and the social worker said not a problem with insurance reimbursing us. What would you do? I gave her my card (praying it would take $10,842). To make this part of the story much more brief than it was, the insurance company did NOT reimburse us and told us we could have gone to another hospital in the city. And let me tell you, I was not happy about it. I called, I wrote letters to the insurance company president (never even had any response from HER), I wrote letters to doctors, to congressmen and senators, if you can think of some one I should have written, trust me, I did! Just remembering that part of this journey during my drive, dried my tears fast!
Let me finish the airplane story before I get to my cottage. Man, I talk a lot!
September 17, 2009 -
I am at work making an attempt to catch up when my phone rings. It's HC and he says there will be an airplane at Bowman Field at 3:30pm that afternoon and we are to be on it. He gives me a few instructions, I tell him I will go home and pack a few things and see him at the hospital soon. I hang up and immediately burst into tears. I call both my sisters and tell them to meet me at the house and help me. By the time I get home, they are there. I'm not packing for a wonderful resort vacation, I'm packing for a place I know nothing about, for a length of time I know nothing about, at a place to stay I know nothing about, that you have to pay for that I don't know how much it costs (my credit card limit has just been "used up"), and who knows what else. Somehow, we manage this and I am at the hospital waiting for the plane. With each passing minute more people appear in HC's room. Family and friends who have chosen to spend this time with us are an incredible blessing. There's talking, laughing, praying and crying (me). HC who is so ill asks to lead all of us in prayer (and he's a great pray-er). He closes by telling all of us, "no matter what happens, It is well with my soul." The transport nurses arrive, we are loaded into a regular ambulance, taken to Bowman Field and loaded onto the air-ambulance. Here's what I remember about that ride. Many of our friends who were with us in HC's hospital room followed us to Bowman Field. As HC was loaded onto the plane, they parked their cars and ran up to the fence as the plane was getting ready to lift off. I looked out the window and my tears just wouldn't stop. These people who loved us so much, who we loved so much...when would we see them again? We had no idea what lay ahead of us.
And that "traveling" experience is what filled my thoughts driving to Indian River that day. As I focused on the road, I realized I was passing the Grayling exit and mile marker 262 was fast approaching. What would I do, what could I do, what should I do? Mile marker 261 passed me by and I slowed down and pulled onto the shoulder. Then I saw the tree. The marks were still there. I stopped and just sat there. I cried and prayed and prayed and cried. My cell phone rang. I had received quite a few calls during the trip from friends just checking on me. I love them. This call was Brett, my son-in-law. He asked me where I was and I couldn't tell him. After a few moments of silence he said, "You're at the accident site aren't you?" I said yes and he said wait there and I'll come to you. And he would have! But I told him to stay where he was, give me a little more time and I'd be there. After a few more minutes, I put the car in gear and drove on. I'd be at the cottage in an hour.
I made it and here I was again with no idea what lay ahead of me.
Close to one year ago, September 14, 2009, HC Baker was at Baptist East Hospital trying to recover from open heart surgery that replaced his mitral heart valve. It wasn't going well. Lots and lots of doctors, lots and lots of tests and very serious discussions between HC and me. We didn't understand what was happening or not happening. The heart surgeon came into HC's room and told us he would suggest going somewhere else for treatment as he had done all he could. He recommended Mayo, a hospital in Toronto, and Cleveland Clinic. We asked about other doctors/hospitals in Louisville but he said no one could do this locally. He said HC was suffering from hemolysis meaning in very simple terms, as his blood raced through his brand new, titanium mitral valve, because it wasn't working properly some of the blood ran back the other/opposite/wrong way. In other words, the surgery didn't work. HC and I were speechless. What do you say to that? He told us to think about it, let him know our decision, and he would make the arrangements, then he left. The rest of that day we could hardly speak to each other let alone anyone else.
That night at home, I "googled" hemolysis and the first response was from the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota. I read that and kept reading nearly all night. I printed much of it so I could share it with HC. The next morning HC and I discussed it, and we asked every doctor who came through the door. Now keep in mind, HC does not make quick decisions but this one was going to have to be made sooner rather than later. Based on my research (like I knew what I was doing), Mayo was pioneering a few procedures that were less invasive than another open heart. I called the hospital and spoke with the heart "service" about this. Their easy, friendly, concerned attitudes made me feel comfortable and I shared that with HC. With all our information, we decided to go to Mayo in Minnesota. You know, all your life you hear about the Mayo Clinic and now we were going there. We had lots of questions - one being would I drive him there? NO, he is too ill and needs to be there as quickly as the arrangements can be made. So????? We would be air-ambulanced. (I know this is over 2 years ago, but for any of you who may have a similar experience, and I pray you never have anything even remotely similar, I am getting ready to make a huge error in judgment. Listen closely.) You husband is incredibly ill. He is now on kidney dialysis and receiving blood transfusions. The hospital social worker comes in to talk to you about the air-ambulance trip. She says she needs my credit card because the air fare (for HC and me on this plane) must be paid in advance. There's never a problem. They would submit it to my insurance and they would reimburse us. The charge on my card would be $10,842. Remember, the heart surgeon has told us we need to go elsewhere, my husband's prognosis is not good, and the social worker said not a problem with insurance reimbursing us. What would you do? I gave her my card (praying it would take $10,842). To make this part of the story much more brief than it was, the insurance company did NOT reimburse us and told us we could have gone to another hospital in the city. And let me tell you, I was not happy about it. I called, I wrote letters to the insurance company president (never even had any response from HER), I wrote letters to doctors, to congressmen and senators, if you can think of some one I should have written, trust me, I did! Just remembering that part of this journey during my drive, dried my tears fast!
Let me finish the airplane story before I get to my cottage. Man, I talk a lot!
September 17, 2009 -
I am at work making an attempt to catch up when my phone rings. It's HC and he says there will be an airplane at Bowman Field at 3:30pm that afternoon and we are to be on it. He gives me a few instructions, I tell him I will go home and pack a few things and see him at the hospital soon. I hang up and immediately burst into tears. I call both my sisters and tell them to meet me at the house and help me. By the time I get home, they are there. I'm not packing for a wonderful resort vacation, I'm packing for a place I know nothing about, for a length of time I know nothing about, at a place to stay I know nothing about, that you have to pay for that I don't know how much it costs (my credit card limit has just been "used up"), and who knows what else. Somehow, we manage this and I am at the hospital waiting for the plane. With each passing minute more people appear in HC's room. Family and friends who have chosen to spend this time with us are an incredible blessing. There's talking, laughing, praying and crying (me). HC who is so ill asks to lead all of us in prayer (and he's a great pray-er). He closes by telling all of us, "no matter what happens, It is well with my soul." The transport nurses arrive, we are loaded into a regular ambulance, taken to Bowman Field and loaded onto the air-ambulance. Here's what I remember about that ride. Many of our friends who were with us in HC's hospital room followed us to Bowman Field. As HC was loaded onto the plane, they parked their cars and ran up to the fence as the plane was getting ready to lift off. I looked out the window and my tears just wouldn't stop. These people who loved us so much, who we loved so much...when would we see them again? We had no idea what lay ahead of us.
And that "traveling" experience is what filled my thoughts driving to Indian River that day. As I focused on the road, I realized I was passing the Grayling exit and mile marker 262 was fast approaching. What would I do, what could I do, what should I do? Mile marker 261 passed me by and I slowed down and pulled onto the shoulder. Then I saw the tree. The marks were still there. I stopped and just sat there. I cried and prayed and prayed and cried. My cell phone rang. I had received quite a few calls during the trip from friends just checking on me. I love them. This call was Brett, my son-in-law. He asked me where I was and I couldn't tell him. After a few moments of silence he said, "You're at the accident site aren't you?" I said yes and he said wait there and I'll come to you. And he would have! But I told him to stay where he was, give me a little more time and I'd be there. After a few more minutes, I put the car in gear and drove on. I'd be at the cottage in an hour.
I made it and here I was again with no idea what lay ahead of me.
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