Yes, it's definitely been too long since I last posted. I'm afraid I fell into a slump. Ya' know, HC Baker has been dead three years now, and it is easier to get up every day and know he won't be there. I accept that and move on. However in all the books, etc., I've read about being the surviving spouse, not one of them mentions the third anniversary. (I guess it's covered in the part about everyone moving on at their own speed!) Well, on July 1st, I realized on August 1st (our wedding anniversary) I would be celebrating our 40th wedding anniversary alone. And that's when my slump began. I actually worried about what I was going to do on that day, how would I celebrate, should I have a party, should I stay in bed all day with the covers pulled over my head, what to do, what to do??? I hate this part of my life. Not knowing!!!!! I'm not good at not knowing. So here I am, on August 16, and the good news is I survived my slump. I'm not quite sure how, but I did. So let me fill you in on what's happened since July 1.
On July 2, my sister Linda and her husband Bill arrived for a visit. Bill had never been here before and quite honestly, I was so worried he wouldn't enjoy his visit, and he'd never want to come back. Bill hates being cold and our summer's up here never really warm up. We have beautiful summer days, but for the most part the "high's" never reach the 90's. We're lucky if they reach the 80's. And this summer has been quite chilly. (Tuesday of this week, the high was 59 and that night the low was 37!!!!) So I had to make sure Bill didn't get cold. And the weather did cooperate. He did wear a jacket a couple of times but for the most part, he had no complaints. HOORAY! And he did have a great time...all of us did. We celebrated the 4th of July with the Indian River 4th of July parade, a cook-out and sparklers when darkness fell. Plus we had Gracie for entertainment!
Once Linda and Bill left, I went to work on several unfinished projects to keep my mind occupied. I was looking for something new to do and found watercolor classes being offered at Blooming Ideas, a wonderful gallery and boutique in Indian River. I signed up and ordered the supplies! July 18 began the Indian River Summerfest. It was at last year's Summerfest that I adopted Nutty, so I decided to have a birthday party for Nutty. And I did. It was great fun! Several friends came bearing doggie gifts and Nutty loved every crumb! The next week I attended my watercolor classes and discovered I enjoyed it. I am now in the process of painting a picture of my home. My toughest critic, TR Baker, looked at it and asked if I painted it. I said yes and he said that's really good! It's not finished yet, but I'll get back to it soon.
Next, Gracie and I worked on table decorations for a luncheon benefit for the Women's Resource Center. I had agreed to decorate and host a table for the event. We decided on a Derby theme (as I had the stuff). We painted little straw hats bright colors and then Gracie decorated them with flowers, feathers, sequins, bows, and ribbons. She did a great job. Then we glued each one to a straw, put the straw in a Derby glass filled with small bottles of Julep "fixins", and we were done. I also found a large birdhouse with twin spires so we used that for our centerpiece. It looked great! OK, by now it's July 25 and August 1st is fast approaching.
Emily and Gracie stopped by the house to ask if I could help with something. It seems on August 1st, Emily had meetings and Brett would be very busy at the candy store and Gracie had to be in Gaylord, MI, (about 35 minutes south of us) and could I possibly take her, wait for her and then bring her back home? YES! YES! YES! So on August 1st at 9am I picked up Gracie and drove her to Gaylord. Once her lesson was over, we went to lunch and spent the rest of the afternoon shopping. She loves to go to Hobby Lobby, Bath and Body Works, and one of our favorites, TJ Maxx (we had a gift card!!!).
That evening, several friends (having no idea the significance of the day to me) suggested we go out to dinner at a terrific place up here, the DLB (Douglass Lake Bar). When I arrive back home, Nutty was there to greet me. I've thought about HC Baker all day and the life we had together. I miss him and every second we shared and would do it all over again. "If God takes you to it, He'll get you through it" could not be more true for me. And I know this journey is not over yet, and I know there will, in all probability, be more difficult moments, but I also know I will survive. I survived August 1, 2013, and I will survive each and every day that is in my future.
(Hang on for a few more paragraphs...I'm almost done!)
Last weekend TR Baker and I went to Chicago. We went for several reasons but the most important one was to be at the finish line when my dear, wonderful friends, Joyce and Cinda, crossed the finish line at the Susan G. Komen, 3-day, 60 mile walk to benefit breast cancer research. 60 miles - did you hear that? And it's the second time they've made this walk. Two years ago they walked in Washington, DC. I couldn't make that trip but I could get to Chicago. Once I decided to go to Chicago, I contacted several special friends to see if they had time to connect with TR Baker and me. With one exception, they said they could. (Missed seeing you Lorri!) When we arrived in Chicago, while waiting to check in to our hotel, TR Baker and I met two lovely ladies from Oklahoma City. They were sisters and one of the sisters was in Chicago on business and she had convinced her sister to join her for a fun weekend. We had a great time getting to know each other. I told them I really wanted to visit Oklahoma City to see the memorial. They said I must and they would be happy to welcome me. I think I will! And if I get that far, I think I'll go on over to Arkansas and force myself on my great friends, Tim and Pat!!!! OK, there it is - your warning! I'm heading your way in the near future! While in Chicago, we were able to see Bonnie and Liz, daughters of an up-north friend and Ryan and Michelle, young friends with Louisville contacts who are expecting their first child in October! How lucky we were to share some time with these special friends. We got a late start for our drive back and didn't arrive home until 1:30am Monday morning. When we got out of the car and I looked up to the heavens to thank God for our safe journey, I was awestruck by the stars in the sky. I felt as if I was seeing the entire galaxy. God is good!
Wednesday evening I had the pleasure of visiting with another dear friend, Mary Beth, from Louisville with ties to my past many, many years ago. I was Mary Beth's first ballet teacher and have known her since she was a child!!!!! She is the daughter of Si who is the Costumer for the Stephen Foster Story in Bardstown, KY. Si was up for a visit. She has shared her creative art with "the story" for 50 years and is still as lovely as ever. What a treat!
OK, that about brings you up to date with my life. I conquered my slump! But let me take you back to Ryan for one more moment. Being with Ryan has always been a joy to me. He is a smart, caring, creative person with incredible concern for the people of the world. He is also a poet. I encouraged him to pursue his creative side and after reading some of his work was reminded of one of my favorite poets, Mary Oliver. A line from one of my favorite poems of hers says, "Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" As I told Ryan, ask yourself that question several times a day. I am and I hope you do too. xxoo
*Continued prayer request for EE, CH, and Lesley's mother! Thank you.
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