When I left the hospital a few hours ago, the Sheriff had given me a plastic bag containing HC's billfold, his glasses, and his cell phone. My personal belongings were still in the car.
It's Saturday morning and HC has been dead for about 8 hours. I'm at Emily's home and Grace, my youngest granddaughter (8), has just walked into the kitchen. She has a huge smile on her face and asks where Gran (her best buddy) is. Emily and I look at each other, and I explain to her we had an automobile accident last night and Gran died. She walks over to me, climbs into my lap, and puts her arms around me. A few minutes behind her, Garrett (12), joins us. It's going to be a difficult day and I had no idea! I need to call Libby and TR. Libby works until noon on Saturdays, so I decided to call TR first. Before calling TR, I called our wonderful friends, Jack and Lou. I told Jack what had happened and told him I had to call TR and would he please go to TR right now to be there to support him. This was the first call I made to dear friends asking them to do incredible things for me. God bless them all.
Even though TR and HC seldom agreed on anything, their love was deep and steadfast. If they had nothing else in the world, they knew they had each other. I dialed TR's number on HC's cell. TR answered immediately and said "Dad, I've been trying to call you. Where are you?" It was my turn to speak. Very quietly and slowly I told TR what had happened all the while knowing I was breaking his heart. We were both silent on the phone waiting for one of us to say something else. This is my child and I do not know what to say to him, what to do for him and I'm 9 hours away. Jack arrived while I was still connected to TR. I had to let him go and give him over to Jack and the Lord.
Next Libby - I cannot call her at work or call her children, my grandchildren, with this news. My sister Linda was ill at this time so I called my sister Mary. I shared with Mary what had happened and asked her to go to Libby's work and tell her. Then take her to get my other 4 grandchildren and take them all to be with TR. And after that, go and tell Linda. (Linda was very sick and at that time we did not know the full extent of her illness. She was diagnosed with 2 forms of cancer and would end up in the hospital by the end of the week.) Again, I was asking the impossible of people I love.
I continued calling family and close friends. In about an hour, Libby called me and we talked. I was now able to take a deep breath and know that our children and grandchildren knew HC/Dad/Gran was dead. I began receiving calls of love and support from our friends and family. Emily and Brett's friends began to drop by their home bringing food and supplies. Isn't that what we were taught to do? When someone dies, start cooking! Our Mothers would be so proud.
Many years ago HC and I had decided to be cremated. But wait. I was taken from the car and the scene of the accident and I needed to see HC one more time before cremation. Brett came to me and said the funeral home where HC was has called and we can see him at 6pm. Is that agreeable to me? Yes, and now I need to prepare for that. Will this day ever end?
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