In the late afternoon I called TR and Libby to tell them I was going to see Dad one last time. Since he was to be cremated, I was hoping to have that accomplished before returning to Louisville. However, I needed to make sure that was OK with Libby and TR. Emily and I would see him soon for the last time and I wanted Libby and TR to be able to do that too if they desired. I told them both I would be happy to bring Dad back to Louisville for them. Bless both of them because they said they had the last image of him in their minds and in their hearts.
Two things I was not aware of...
* In Michigan (don't know about other states), if you die in a car accident, you must be autopsied. I was sorry about that because HC had said many times, "When I die, just "cook" me!" Perfect comment from him, don't you think?
* If I did indeed take his body back to Louisville, he would have to be embalmed. He didn't want that either!
HC and I used to joke about final arrangements and what we wanted. We always laughed and said it didn't make any difference because whoever goes first will be at the mercy of the other!
So Emily, Brett, Garrett, Grace and I headed back to Grayling, MI, where the accident occurred and HC's body was being held. I had no idea what to expect or if I could even do this. We had explained to the children where we were going and why. We told them it was their decision if they wanted to see Gran. No one would make them do anything. We arrived at the funeral home and were taken into a conference room to discuss what would happen. It was also the time for me to sign the papers for cremation (and of course pay the fees!). I was also told the fees included 10 official and original death certificates. (I had no idea then that I would need every one of them. As recently as late August/2011, I had to send another one!)
All of us sat there and listened to the explanation. We were told HC was dressed in a plain white tee shirt, in a twin bed, with a quilt pulled up under his arms. He would look like he was asleep. Did we have any questions? Yes, I said. (Don't know where this came from.) I wanted to now what he would feel like. I was told he would feel cool to the touch but soft. OK, I can do this. Both of the children said they wanted to see Gran so we were all lead into another room. And there he was looking like he was asleep just as we were told. There were chairs around him and I sat down in one of them. Garrett stood at the end of the bed but Grace came right up to HC and hugged him, began to rub his arm and talk to him. The wonder of children. We stayed there for some time, then went back to the conference room for final signatures. While I was finishing, Grace came to me and asked if she could go back in "there"? Brett immediately stood and took her hand and went with her. We all followed shortly. It was the strength of an 8 year old who gave me the strength to say goodbye to HC.
On the way back, we did stop at the accident scene and Emily and Brett got out of the car and went down the hill. (After the accident, the emergency people had to cut HC out of the car.) They found quite a few of our belongings that had escaped the car during the aftermath. They collected all they saw. We headed back to their home for the night.
While we were with HC, Brett had received word that the state police had released the car and we could come on Sunday afternoon and clean it out. I already knew this was a trip I would not make.
And I wasn't sure I even wanted to know about it. Wonderful Brett said he would take care of it. The first day without HC was about to end. Maybe I would wake up in the morning and this had all been a dream. Wouldn't that be wonderful?
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