I have found this old small 6 ring binder that is full of clippings, original writings, pictures and personal thoughts. (I'm finally getting to empty boxes from Barrington Court.)
FYI...HC Baker's father died when HC was 5 years old. He died in the polio epidemic of the early '50's. He was taken from home in an ambulance to the VA hospital where he died. Because of the disease, the funerals were "closed" with immediate burial. HC never saw him again after he left their home. He once told me he was never really sure his dad died because he didn't see him dead. There is no doubt HC Baker's one true desire was to meet his Lord and Savior, and I am certain he did. There is also no doubt in my mind HC Baker had quite a few questions for the Lord and once those questions were answered, I'm sure HC went in search of his dad. I found this today.
"Not unlike Moses, who for 40 years wandered lost in the desert, I still wake at times looking for you. Was that you on the street ahead of me today...Did you pass me in the hallway that day some twenty years ago?
Oh, I don't know.
You know all those stories about you I heard as a kid? They were like beautiful music when you weren't there. How I still like to hear them. I would rather have been your son one more hour.
Oh well.
By the way...I never did say good-bye, When you're five, good-byes seem like they are forever. Maybe that's why I didn't do it...I don't know...
When you left, I was so confused and hurt...I still am sometimes.
Oh well.
You know they sold or gave away or took most of the material things you had. I guess they didn't want what was most important to you. I found it though...
Without you and your faith in God, I would never have made it.
Thanks, I needed Him!
I remember what you were wearing the last time I saw you. I haven't liked white since. Those white sheets that covered your lifeless body as they carried you from the house covered everything but the kind of fear that was new to a kid my age.
Oh well.
You would have been proud of Mom. I guess you knew that when you married her. She worked real hard. She gave so much of herself to us kids that sometimes I'm sure God gave her 26 hours in a day to get it done.
When you've only got one...it's nice when she can love so much.
For some who knew you and knew that you weren't perfect, that's OK...I do too. And I don't guess it's so strange to want to have or want to be the very thing we cannot have. But there's so much about you I don't know. I've constructed me without all the pieces.
Oh well...I'm doing the best I can.
I had hoped as a father or husband or person, I could do more, or be more, or give more. But the irony of life is that what I learned to give was only time. The time I never had before. I cannot seem to give away the love that is hidden away inside.
Oh well...I'll keep trying."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don't know who wrote this but it was in the binder taped to a page.
On this day
Mend a quarrel
Search out a forgotten friend
Dismiss a suspicion and replace it with trust
Write a letter to someone who misses you
Encourage a youth who has lost faith
Keep a promise
Forget an old grudge
Examine your demands on others and vow to reduce them
Fight for a principle
Express your gratitude
Overcome an old fear
Take two minutes to appreciate the beauty of nature
Tell someone you love them
Tell them again
And again
And again.
No comments:
Post a Comment